Back Stroke

Hey kids. I've been feeling unlovable and unworthy. I just can't be amusing (or amusing enough) when I feel this way.

After Writing class on Tuesday I felt just awful -- my scene sucked. I keep trying to remind myself "This is an exhibition, not a competition: please, no wagering." But I got depressed to the point of being teary and I decided to bag on Business class that night, which was only going to last five or ten minutes for me anyhow: we were supposed to pitch our stories to a couple of producers Brooke brought in. We got five minutes a piece (3 to pitch, 2 to get feedback) and I was Number Two in line.

I was not in any condition to go pitch. I bagged.

It turns out that I was the only one who didn't go. The people at the end of the list didn't get in to see the producers until after 11:30. Yeesh. And everybody knows I didn't go too. (Especially if they read things on-line.)

Wednesday we watched The Hustler in Film History class. Boy, that Paul Newman sure was a babe 35 years ago. I have one question though: in the scene where Newman gets beaten up in Arthur's Pool Hall and the thugs break his thumbs, is there an intimation that something else happens to him? Carol Ann thought so too, or at least had had the thought cross her mind.

I went to Babylonian and Jeffrey didn't have anything for me. In fact, we chatted a bit about this summer and I'm not sure they have a job for me this summer either. Eeek. I guess I have to start making phone calls. Neat. (I wonder about temp jobs -- I would have more time for writing.)

Today we watched The Remains of the Day for the second time in Script Analysis class. I have to say, I don't care if I ever see that one again. A good movie, but excruciating. I love the way the teacher deconstructs movies and points out the structure.

I think I must have thrown out my back during the moving last week. My lower back, where my herniated disk is, is killing me. Sitting is very painful; sitting through Remains of the Day was horrible. I must have annoyed everyone in the seats in front of me by shifting around so much.

On A&E's The Unexplained they're doing an investigation of astrology. And they're using the OJ Simpson case as the example. Sigh. I hope there's some skeptical stuff later on. "Great potential for deceit." Please. Is there anyone out there who doesn't have a great potential for deceit? Or murder? Or whatever? That was one thing that always cracked me up about OJ's defenders: they kept saying, He couldn't have done it. I hate to tell you this but...anyone is capable of a horrifying act, it's just that most of us recoil at the thought.

Back to the show: okay, okay -- a couple of dissenting voices. Good. But now they're going to start analyzing astrology on Wall Street.