do these work with daydreams?
What telecommunications megacorp announced it was going to buy what other telecommunications megacorp for $115 billion? And do you remember when we didn't need charts to pick our local phone carrier and long distance phone carriers?
(Don't send me your answers. This is just a little way to expand your horizons. Honest.)
I had lunch with Michele yesterday. We discussed dream recall and dream journals (one of the many topics we are wont to talk about), and I mentioned that I have been having terrible dreams recently, nothing I want to write down. A lot of them are baby fear dreams, but there have been other dreams I can't as easily classify, and almost all of them have been distressing, with a few outright terrifying.
She said, "I was talking to a Tibetan Dream Master--"
--At which point I said, Oh great, I do not want to hear about how bad dreams mean I'm not as evolved or something--
"--and he said that's usually due to your mindset during the day. So at the end of the day review your day and see if it was positive or negative. And first thing in the morning, tell yourself you're going to have a positive day. During the day, if you find yourself having a negative thought, just tell yourself to stop. And your dreams will get better."
I wonder if the Tibetan Dream Masters--is that a great pro sports team name or what?--have ever met Tony Robbins.
So I'm being Little Miss Positive, if just to make my nighttime experiences that much better.
(My dreams last night were all erotic--I wonder what kind of thoughts I was having yesterday. No different than usual, I don't think. Which may tell you where my thoughts are much of the time.)
I've had a couple of bummers happen in a row, but these are just par for the course, I suppose.
I got dinked from the Nicholl on Saturday. I had Darin open the envelope. Fernando and I waited for the longest time before Darin finally said, "No, you didn't advance." I had figured that out by that point--if the letter didn't start with "Congratulations!" I probably hadn't advanced.
It was a let-down. I think I'm not supposed to admit that, or something..."It was great just to make it this far!" Oh please. Yes, it was great to be a semi-finalist, but it would have been even better to make it further. It's disappointing--no, not the end of the world, but it's a massive bummer. Enough of those dreams of the instant boost the Nicholl gives you above mere mortals. Back to a world where greatness is not thrust upon you. Open that file, start typing, make your own luck.
(I told Stee we should have taken out the competition.)
On Saturday I told the Nicholl news to a couple of people and one mailing list. I figured I had told them about advancing, I should mention the not advancing part. Here was my letter:
Oh bummer.
No Nicholl for me this year. Sigh. Nothing to do
but go get drunk, I guess.
-- Diane
ps - Yes, that was a joke.
A joke, you know: the part about the drinking. 'Cause I'm pregnant and stuff.
And one person wrote back with what I thought was a really snippy response, basically saying, as I interpreted it: You made it to the semifinals, you should be happy with that. I asked Pooks about it, and she thought it was just a joke, you know, teasing, and I said, Really? I showed it to Darin and he said, "Don't respond, it's just bait."
So I didn't respond. I tried to remember that the response was more about the sender than about me and anything I might have said.
Then I get mail from someone I asked to read my horror script, and he wrote to say how he'd rewrite it: as a farce. Which is to say, he'd like to completely gut my script and replace it with something else--which possibly would make a good script, but not my script. I don't even know what to write back to him. And I wondered what was in my script that made him think that was the way to go with it. And why he'd feel the need to say that to me.
The main up side is that I told my manager what my next project is--I decided to find out before writing if a)it was commercial and b)there were 400 other projects exactly like it out there--and he loves it. How to make your representative happy: come up with something he's behind. I think he wants it before Thanksgiving. I don't think he's going to get it before Thanksgiving, but maybe lightning will strike.
I definitely want it done before I take a few months off early next year.
Today I took Mary and Grace over the hill to Tamar's house, where we got together with Tamar and Damian for a few hours. Tamar gave me maternity wear and a baby book and Mary an "exer-saucer," so basically we made out like bandits. We also ate Tamar's food. I don't think Tamar got very much out of the exchange, frankly.
We had a good time. We talked about movies and scripts and about babies. Every so often they'd come out with something that would leave me feeling, I can't do this, my life is over... and they would laugh at the stricken look on my face and assure me that you do get time to adjust to a baby; you don't have to deal with all the changes all at once.
I did have a hard time dealing with the size of the maternity clothes. Like, I'm going to fit in this? Yes, evidently, I'm going to fit in that. Tamar showed me late pregnancy photos of herself, and she assured me that you don't feel as big on the inside as you look on the outside. Still, her tummy was pretty big. There was a whole person in there. Who's a pretty big person now.
I still can't get used to that part. It's kinda frightening. Evidently, however, I have a few more months to adapt.
Thank God Buffy is starting tonight.
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Copyright 1999 Diane Patterson
Send comments and questions to diane@spies.com