Last night, Darin and I were lying in bed, trying to go to sleep, when we heard this noise outside. A repetitive, constant, short noise.
After a while, Darin said, "That's someone having sex."
I said, "I thought that was a dog barking." I giggled. "Not that one precludes the other."
We listened a while more. After a few minutes, I finally heard one syllable: "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!"
The sound was completely inhuman and lacked passion: it was timed and monotonal. I don't think the noisy one's partner was thinking about baseball; I think he was looking at a metronome. He's a metronome, she's a Stepford Wife.
The voice went on. And on. And on. Periodic breaks in the action. Then it would start again. The word wasn't always Yes -- sometimes I couldn't make it out.
Eventually I said, "Could they finish already?" Darin cracked up.
I started theorizing about what the situation was. A really, really boring porn movie. Or maybe a scene from a porn movie played over and over again. Maybe they were dubbing a porn movie. Or an extremely untalented actress was making some money while she's waiting for her big break.
Well, it was better than when I hear hollering -- serious, violence-approaching hollering -- out in the street.