Nobody Knows Anything

Welcome to Diane Patterson's eclectic blog about what strikes her fancy

I got nuthin’

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Last Thursday Nina had to bow out of running in the morning because she had to pick up a friend. I said to myself, “I’ll go to the gym later.” Then Nina pinged me on IM and said, “Hey, want to go running around noon?” So we did, which was great, despite the rain. Yes, we ran in the rain! We are so hardcore these days.

On Friday I went to the gym and did my usual workout: two miles on the elliptical, then weights.

Oh, what a difference a two-day layoff makes.

Saturday we were doing errands for Christmas, so I didn’t do anything.

Sunday I stood on my feet for much too long and hurt my back.

Yesterday I said to myself, “Self, we are going to continue exercising, despite the amount of food you ate yesterday and that you’re a little dehydrated from the beer and champagne and that today you just don’t feel like it.” I hauled myself off to the gym and barely eked out a mile and a half on the elliptical. Then I did my lower body workout and found myself getting slower and weaker with every rep. So I said, “Self, you’ve proven you will start up your exercise regime again. Now go home and lie down.” Because I had already proven to myself who was in charge; I didn’t need to injure myself.

This morning I debated with myself whether or not to go running. On the one hand, it was Tuesday, and Tuesday was a running day. On the other hand, I felt like being a couch potato. “Self,” I said… And out the door I went, for the usual Tuesday morning run.

Not much fun. Well, running is a lot more fun these days when I run with someone, and all my running buds are on vacation, but beyond that: my body feels like it’s made of lead. I realized that I am still wildly dehydrated — not so much from drinking alcohol on Sunday as from not drinking enough water the past couple of days.

I got to the Hill sign (which is immediately followed by a 12% or so hill) and turned around. I couldn’t even face trying to run up that hill. I ran back home, always expecting that my next step would also be my last and I would just curl up on the side of the trail to nap for three or four years.

When I got home I felt slightly nauseated, as though I had been drinking, which I think is confirmation of my theory that I’m dehydrated. So today I will make it my mission to drink a heck of a lot more water.

I can’t believe what a little non-athletic puddle I’ve turned into in the past few days though. I guess exercise is like writing: you shouldn’t take any days off, because you immediately lose ground from where you are. And I have a run date with Rob on Thursday! Eek.

The Muir Beach Run

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In our continuing quest to keep up with the running, Rob, Nina, and I did the Pfleger Estate Trail Run two weeks ago and the Muir Beach Trail Run yesterday. The two runs couldn’t have been more different: the Pfleger Estate had gently rising hills and generally even terrain. Oh yes, and beautiful weather.

When I showed up at Rob’s house for the Muir Beach run, he said, “Is that all you’re wearing?”

What did that mean? I had on a long-sleeved running shirt and my running tights. Sure, it was nippy out, but it was 6:30 in the morning. It would warm up by game time, it always did, right?

Except we weren’t running in Cupertino. We were running near the Pacific Ocean. In winter, this area is best described by the terms “windy” and “cold.”

When we got to Muir Beach, none of us wanted to get out of the car. The wind was blowing fiercely. The lady in front of me at the porta-potties said her car reported it was 45 degrees. “I think your car lied,” I said through chattering teeth. It probably was 45 degrees, with a significant wind chill factor.

“It’ll be warmer when we start running,” Rob said.

“I hope you’re right.”

And it was, especially since the first kilometer or so out of the gate was straight up. On the second rise I had to wave Rob and Nina to go on without me, because I was having the damnedest time breathing. That’s the thing that’s killing me when I go running with them: I can keep up well enough on the flats, and I go downhill a great deal faster than they do (possibly because I have gravity working in my favor, but I think it’s just because I’m stupidly fearless), but I just die on the uphills. When I stop breathing at all well, I know my heart rate is at 165, which is the top of my range.

What can I do to increase my aerobic capacity? Do deep breathing exercises? Just get into better shape? Lots of hill drills? This is killing me.

There was an aid station just before the 7 km mark. Usually the shortest runs don’t have an aid station, but I guess all the runs went through this point. The aid station was to soften us up before the last hill, which went a mile straight up, with the rain that started and more wind, before we tore down the hill to the finish, where we enjoyed soup and gummi bears. I wasn’t particularly hungry, I just needed that soup to warm up my insides. Surprisingly, our consensus was that the rain didn’t bother us (it wasn’t a heavy downpour or anything). The wind had chilled us far more than the rain had.

After we fed our faces for a bit I said, “Coffee?” We all quickly said, Uh-huh, and went off to search for coffee. At Starbucks Nina said, “I hate their coffee! It tastes like bile! Their Americanos are good though.”

“I guess we’re getting Americanos,” Rob said.

“I don’t want anything that tastes like bile, that’s for sure,” I said.

And she was right: the Americano is much better than a standard cup of Starbucks’ drip, so I’m sold.

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The Angel Island Trail Run is in January! Anyone up for a wonderful run should sign up now!

An excellent upper body workout

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This week I have made a gingerbread cake, a double-decker challah, and about 46 thousand butter cookies cut to look like gingerbread men and snowmen.

Those were for Sophia’s class’s holiday party. The other stuff was for us.

All three recipes I used came from the Holiday Baking issue of Cook’s Illustrated, an issue I highly recommend. The butter cookie recipe is definitely different from the other recipes I found: it’s pretty much simply butter and sugar, held together with a little flour. You roll it out, cut out some cookies, roll it again, cut. Reportedly you should only roll the dough twice, but I took all the third-time scraps, rolled them together, and made another 10 delicious cookies, so take the whole “only roll twice” with a grain of salt.

Also, you can skip your upper body workout if you make these cookies. Man alive, in the midst of rolling out this dough — see above: butter + sugar, chilled in the fridge — I suddenly realized why I should do bent-over rows and lateral raises.

I worked that dough, trying to work fast in order to keep it cool, and every single muscle in my upper body said, “No, I don’t think so.” In fact, the first time I made this recipe, I rolled the dough out to 1/4 inch thick instead of 1/8 thick, because I honestly did not think I could get it any thinner. (Basically, I ended up with gingerbread-man and snowman shortbread cookies. Which doesn’t, you know, suck.) After four batches of this stuff — I wouldn’t have had to make so much had I gotten the thickness of the dough right the first time! — I finally got a clue about how to roll and how to get my back into it.

Pastry chefs must be in killer condition. Having the rolling pin is not enough; you must also know what to do with it.

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Cook’s Illustrated Holiday Baking Butter Cookie Recipe

    Butter Cookie Dough
    355 grams unbleached all-purpose flour (12 1/2 ounces or 2 1/2 cups — but you should weigh, not measure)
    156 grams superfine sugar (5 1/2 ounces or 3/4 cup)
    1/4 teaspoon salt
    227 grams butter (16 tablespoons or 2 sticks), cut into sixteen 1/2-inch pieces, at cool room temperature
    2 teaspoons vanilla extract
    2 tablespoons cream cheese, at room temperature (I think this is about 1 ounce or 28 grams)

    Glaze
    1 tablespoon cream cheese, at room temperature
    3 tablespoons milk
    170 grams confectioners’ sugar (6 ounces or 1 1/2 cups)

    For the cookies:

    1) In bowl of standing mixer fitted with flat beater, mix flour, sugar, and salt on low speed until combined, about 5 seconds. With mixer running on low, add butter 1 piece at a time; continue to mix until mixture looks crumbly and slightly wet, about 1 minute longer. Add vanilla and cream cheese and mix on low until dough just begins to form large clumps, about 30 seconds.

    2) Remove bowl from mixer; knead dough by hand in bowl for 2 to 3 turns to form large cohesive mass. Turn out dough onto countertop; divide dough in half (Diane’s note: they come out to 380 grams each), pat into two 4-inch disks (me again: the flatter you make these now, the happier you will be later), wrap each in plastic, and refrigerate until they begin to firm up, 20 to 30 minutes. (Dough can be refrigerated up to 3 days or frozen up to 2 weeks; defrost dough in refrigerator before using. Because otherwise you will destroy your biceps and triceps in trying to roll it out.)

    3) Adjust oven rack to middle position; heat oven to 375 degrees. Roll out 1 dough disk to even 1/8-inch thickness between 2 large sheets of parchment paper; slide rolled dough on parchment onto baking sheet and chill until firm, about 10 minutes. Meanwhile, repeat with second disk.

    4) Working with first portion of rolled dough, cut into desired shapes using cookie cutter(s) and place shapes on parchment-lined baking sheet, spacing them about 1 1/2 inches apart. Bake until light golden brown, about 10 minutes, rotating baking sheet halfway through baking time. Repeat with second portion of rolled dough. (Dough scraps can be patted together, chilled, and re-rolled once.) Cool cookies on wire rack to room temperature.

    For the glaze: Whisk cream cheese and 2 tablespoons milk in medium bowl until combined and no lumps remain. Whisk in confectioners’ sugar until smooth, adding remaining milk as needed until glaze is thin enough to spread easily. Drizzle or spread scant teaspoon glaze with back of spoon onto each cooled cookie; decorate further as desired.

I can’t speak to how well the glaze turned out, ’cause I didn’t do that part, but I’ll definitely make these cookies again! Maybe after I’ve done a marathon or something (that dough is as tasty as it sounds).

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The entire challah got eaten tonight before I remembered to get my camera. It’s good stuff. I’m telling you, pick up this issue.