The Editing Room’s abridged script.
Indiana Jones and Nuke the Fridge
(Yes, I know this is all about a movie that is already out of theaters, but I have to put these links somewhere, so I remember where to find them.)
I don’t put Indy 4 on the same level with The Phantom Menace — that is, the movie in no way affected my enjoyment of the previous movies. But man: it definitely was doubleplusungood.
(Otto insisted I change “massive” to “epic” in the title.)
Crystal Skull was miles better than either Temple of Doom or Last Crusade, though. I’ve never understood why Last Crusade is well-regarded; I thought it sucked eggs pretty much from beginning to end.
What I appreciated about Crystal Skull, oddly enough, is that it didn’t take itself seriously, and it made it clear pretty early that it wasn’t taking itself seriously. So it was easy to sit back and enjoy how silly it was.
I liked it anyway, flaws and all. It seems that logic has little to do with action films anyway. Steve
Here’s why I didn’t like Indy 4: the story made no freakin’ sense. And I say this as someone who enjoyed The Rock, for God’s sake.
At its most basic level, Indy 4 makes no goddamn sense. The refrigerator: great. Surviving THREE waterfalls: whatever. Not one but TWO roads through a jungle we’ve just seen a borer plowing through? Who cares. No, I’m talking about the engine of the plot.
What is the crystal skull? What can it do? Why does Indy have to get to it? Why are the Russians trying to get to it? What happens if the Russians get to it before Indy does?
I have no idea.
What’s clear is, neither did the filmmakers. There’s something in there about controlling other people…only it’s kind of vague, and the only person who gets controlled is Indy, and that’s because the Crystall Skull told him to go do something, not the Russians.
I don’t want to hear about Maguffins: Maguffins are things everyone’s chasing after and they could be anything *but the audience knows what they are.* We understand why Ingrid and Cary have to get the plutonium in the wine cellar. We know what everyone’s chasing after in It’s a Mad^4 World.
No idea what a crystal skull is. And Indy has no better reason than to chase halfway around the world on the word of some kid he’s never met before.
(I haven’t seen Temple of Doom or Last Crusade since they came out, and I recall not liking them either. But I don’t recall being at sea the entire time I was watching them, though.)
Hmm, I think I disagree with your assessment of the engine of the plot. The viewer doesn’t have to know what the Maguffin is so long as it’s clear why the characters are motivated to want it. And I think the broad motivations of Crysal Skull were pretty straightforward:
The Soviets are going after the Crystal Skull because that’s their mandate from their government: They believe that if they collect all these supernatural and/or alien artifacts, some of them will end up giving them a leg up in the Cold War. Col-Dr Spalko actually believes this.
Indy initially goes to Peru to rescue Oxley. In order to rescue him they find the skull, and then take it towards Akator. Along the way they get captured.
At this point Spalko wants to take the skull to Akator because she believes it will be the key to a lot more alien knowledge (or artifacts).
Indy’s motivation at this point is to return the skull and/or get to Akator first because if he doesn’t then Spalko will, and if she’s right, then That Would Be Bad. He has some reason to believe she might be right, due to his past experience with the supernatural, and also – if the viewer chooses to believe this – due to interfacing with the skull. Plus, he’s highly interested in discovering Akator, because, well, that’s his job and his passion.
I think the film’s climax falls down on several fronts, including that the explanation for what the skull is and the resolution of returning it don’t make a lot of sense. But I think the use of the skull to drive the plot before that point is generally reasonable.