Jesus, Other Things that Tom Cruise Knows More About Than You had me literally in tears:
Particle Physics – Regis and Kathie Lee, 5/13/95
“According to the popular theory – don’t interrupt me, Regis – according to the popular theory of Guage and Higgs bosons, for Z bosons the average charged multiplicity formula is {Ncharged} = 21.07 +/- 0.11. Now, I’ve read the history of physics–I have read the histories, looked at the data and you’re being glib, Regis. Glib, glib, glib! Z bosons are not elementary physics particles, but in fact are the proportionate mass-carrying particles for when a thetan leaves the body upon clearing. Believe me, I’ve seen it a thousand times.”
Darin’s staring at me like I’ve totally lost my shit, which I pretty much have. But the article’s hilarious nonetheless.