Went out to brunch this morning with Tamar, Dan, and Damian. Damian and Sophia are like gasoline and a match together. It was pretty much non-stop insanity from 10 this morning to 6 this evening, but at least most of that time they were entertaining each other.

We finished the day at a Mexican restaurant around the corner from Tamar’s. Food: pretty good. Service: not so good. Ambience: dark. Funniest/more exhausting moment: in the middle of other hilarity going on, Simon managed to pull a glass of beer on top of himself.

“Another typical Saturday night for him,” said Darin.

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A few days ago we drove past a pet supply store that had a giant sign painted on the window: All Meat Diet, Human-grade.

“Those damn Atkins people,” Darin said. “Now it’s the pets.”

I cracked up. “That is so not where my mind went,” I said. “I was thinking, Soylent Green is people!”

(Sorry if this ruins the movie for anyone.)

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Man I least want to meet in a dark alley: Tom Fontana.

(We’ve been watching the final season of “Oz.” And every week I’m like, Why am I watching this again? It’s a soap opera filled with rape, drugs, and gory violence.)

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True story:

I went to the library to pick up some books I had on hold. As I approached the reserve room…

“…it’s a famous novel, by a famous writer.”

Speaking was the library volunteer who always works the reserve room, with two teenaged volunteers.

“I’ve never heard of it,” said one of the teenagers. “What’s it about?”

“It’s about a very friendly French lady.”

I would have raised an eyebrow, had I the muscular control. “And this book would be?”

The library volunteer gave me a world-weary glance. “Madame Bovary.”

“That’s quite possibly the most interesting summary of that book I’ve ever heard,” I said.

He shrugged.

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Anyone know a good place to buy personalized stationery? I want to buy some personalized notecards for Sophia and Simon and I don’t know where to go.

I don’t know how most people find out how readers find their site—everyone seems to have access to this info…except me.

However, just now I was checking out my SiteMeter stats and I found a link from Yahoo search that apparently took “Buffy,” “religious,” and “homeschooling” and gave them…me!

Hahahahahahahahahahaha.

You know, when people talk about psychic powers, it’s always about being able to read minds or able to move heavy objects across a room without endangering your vertebrae. Let me tell you: the only psychic powers I’ve run across have been the ones my kids seem to have.

Both kids have had the Food-Is-Coming sensory awareness as babies. We’re at a restaurant, having a grand old time, everything’s great… When the baby starts to fuss and need to be held, it means the food is on its way from the kitchen. Every time. If the food comes quickly, if the restaurant takes its own sweet time…doesn’t matter. Whatever length of time it is minus about thirty seconds = baby fussing.

Simon has Mommy-Is-Going-To-Sleep clairvoyance. Doesn’t matter when I turn off the light and slip under the comforter—that’s when he decides to wake up and cry and need love. His bedroom is a floor away, so it’s not like he’s picking up any physical clues. No, this is purely psychic phenomena at work.