No, not for me. Well, maybe for me; but for right now, it’s the kids.

They’re already in bed. Possibly asleep.

The defining factor of the afternoon is When does Simon fall asleep? Everything depends on that: he falls asleep around 2 these days, so I plan on getting most errands done before 2 pm, with perhaps one or two after he wakes up around 3:30 or 4 pm. I am a slave to his afternoon rhythm.

Today we went to the gym around 11. At least, the first time we did. When we got there I discovered we needed to go home to get something, so it was back into the car, go home, turn around, return to gym. Simon’s eyes were fluttering at that point. Although it was earlier than he’s been napping lately, he could have dropped off very easily if I’d driven any further.

We left the gym around 12:30, and it was clear the kids needed lunch. So did I, for that matter. I thought Simon would fall asleep on the way home, but he didn’t. So, they had lunch—each asked for cereal, strangely enough—and I decided they could watch a show afterward, which would help Simon fall asleep.

No, they just played.

At 2 I realized I was in the danger zone: if we left to do any errands now, Simon would immediately fall asleep, which would necessitate turning around again. I wanted him to fall asleep without the rigamarole of getting into the car.

Didn’t happen. He was sleepy, he was staggering around like a sailor on shore leave, he would lay on the ground…no sleep.

At 4 I knew if he fell asleep any time soon he’d be up again by 6 and then stay up until 10 or so at night. So it became imperative to keep him awake. I made him his favorite snack, Nutella on toast, while I made up a batch of mac-and-cheese. (No need for me to go all out: Just me and the kids tonight for dinner—damn you, Tiger.) The kids ate their mac and cheese and then happily got into a bubble bath to play. They didn’t even want a long bubble bath, which I was prepared to let them have. Nope, it was out of the bathtub and into pj’s. They asked for a few books; I read them two each.

I said, “You can play for a little bit while I go downstairs and have some dinner, okay?” Well, sure, they said Okay but they meant No way, lady. I ate one forkful of leftover halibut a la provencale before I needed to go up and separate the two of them. I waggled my finger and said, If I need to come up here again, it’s lights out.

I had to go up again. The lights were turned off.

After a few minutes of a chorus of, “Daddy! Daddy! I want my Daddy!” all sound has ceased. They’re asleep by 6:30, a good 90 minutes before their usual bed time.

I hope this doesn’t mean they’re going to be up by 5. They just need a lot of sleep tonight, right?

Darin is up in SF for Andy Hertzfeld’s book party at Macworld, so I had the kids to myself tonight. I was not in the mood for finding something we could all eat, so I took the kids out to Willow Street for dinner. Sophia did quite well with her dinner. And quite well with Simon’s too: she’d lean over and whisper in his ear, and he’d take a fry off his own plate and feed it to her. Parents: lock up your little boys now.

Anyhow, sundaes came with their dinners. Sophia dug into hers, and Simon just kept playing with his. He’d mix it up, then take a spoonful of goop and let it drip back into the bowl. I said, “Simon, are you playing with your food?” And he said, “No, Mama, I’m dripping.”

Bet you didn’t know “to drip” was a transitive verb!

They did act up a little while we were there—threats were issued, fake crying ensued, the usual—but overall we had a pretty good time at the restaurant. It just helps to go at 5 in the evening, rather than 6:30 or so. Sigh.

Similes and metaphors are often the worst part of my writing—I tend to think in more concrete terms, rather than saying something is like something else. It’s actually a goal of mine to be more poetic in my language.

Sophia has no such problems. She’s sitting on her armchair, eating some popcorn, and she just turned to me to say, “Popcorn is white. White like your computer.”

Tell me that’s a comparison that would have leapt to your mind.