Nobody Knows Anything

Welcome to Diane Patterson's eclectic blog about what strikes her fancy

Sleeping Beauty: the review

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I have seen Sleeping Beauty approximately 3,294,923 times since last Thursday, when I bought it for Sophia at Costco.

It has not grown on me.

Sophia, of course, loves it. So much so that we’ve watched it twice so far before lunch today. I thought nothing could overcome Dora the Explorer in her heart, but apparently Aurora has done so.

I wish Sophia could have picked a better movie. This one is awful. No, seriously. On just about every level it’s awful. The story is atrocious, from the evil fairy casting what’s probably the weirdest curse in the world to the three fairies hiding the baby in the forest to Prince Philip fighting to get to the Princess…

And the Princess herself. Oh. My. God. The titular character of this flick is as vapid and useless as a box of packing peanuts. In the opening scene her father’s giving her away in marriage to his friend’s kid so that they can unite their kingdoms. Then the three fairies whisk her off to the forest, where apparently she should have starved because the three fairies are completely hopeless at cooking or sewing (as we see in a scene sixteen years later). Then she talks to a strange man in the forest and doesn’t give him her name…but tells him to come to her house in the forest that night. She falls into Maleficient’s evil trance, pricks her finger, falls asleep.

(Every time I read this story to Sophia I stop and ask, “Why do the fairies give Prince Philip the sword and shield? Why don’t they do a little more to help Aurora out directly?”)

But let’s look beyond the story and the characters—and look at the movie itself. The animation in this flick is just terrible. This is not Golden Age quality. In many scenes the background is completely static, with only figure in the foreground animated. Maybe it’s a stylistic choice…but it still looks cheap.

And the songs. Yuck.

Have I mentioned how much I dislike the Princess?

I’ll have to watch this about 8 billion more times though. Or until The Lion King comes out. And boy, won’t you love to read what I have to say about The Lion King (a movie I loathed when it came out, but Sophia is fascinated by Simba and Nala, so we’ll probably have to get it).

Things I miss about LA

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Our Los Angeles house is finally gone. We got the check in the mail and everything (note to anybody receiving a rather large escrow check: you have to actually sign it, instead of using a For Deposit stamp, and they’re going to keep the money for seven business days, no matter how many managers you talk to, so get a money wire), so we are officially done with LA.

I’m still missing it though.

Yes, I know I can always go back down there, except the barriers are slightly higher: if we drive down I need a co-pilot (to attend to the radio, to the kids’ snacks, etc.), and flying down requires much advance planning (otherwise it’s $200 a person).

Forthwith, some things I really miss about LA:

  • Our friends. I know finding friends takes time. It’s harder when your choice of friends is somewhat constrained by having kids—you basically look for other parents. Tamar, with Dan and Damian; Michele; Maureen, with Mark and the kids; Fernando; Neida and Augusto; Brent, Therese, Ellie; Al; and Harry…
  • Sophia’s preschool. Don’t get me wrong, I like the preschool she goes to here. I loved the preschool she went to down there—the Neighborhood School in Sherman Oaks. She came home covered in paint and dirt. And it was in the afternoon, which was wonderful because I got to spend time with her in the morning, when we were both at our best—now her school gets the best of her in the mornings and we’re all exhausted in the afternoon. Grumble. And what’s up with the fact there hasn’t been one invitation to a birthday party from her new school yet? By the end of September last year Sophia had been invited to two or three. (The whole birthday thing got a little crazy, actually, but it’s how all the parents met one another!)
  • The cost of living. Everything seems to cost 150% more here in Silicon Valley than it did in LA: housing, babysitters, plumbers. This adds up.
  • Living near a great zoo. We lived about fifteen minutes from the LA Zoo. Needed something to do with the kids? Zoo. Since moving up north we’ve been to San Jose’s Happy Hollow (fun park with rides, stupid zoo, but the membership I bought gets us discounts at many other places), the San Francisco Zoo (an hour each way, making it a whole day’s excursion), and the Oakland Zoo (ditto).
  • Proximity to Disneyland and Knott’s Berry Farm. Especially for the decade coming up, when we’re going to hear, “You moved me away from where?” a lot. Of course, moving away has also saved us from tithing a portion of our income to the Mouse by rote.
  • Cafe Bizou, Sherman Oaks. An amazingly great restaurant just down the hill from our house. We went there so often with baby Sophia that they inquired about her whenever we didn’t take her with. The club sandwich. The tagallini. The ahi tuna salad. <weeps>
  • Osteria Nonni, Atwater Village. Go there. Get the lemon chicken. Savor. I’m not even a huge fan of Italian food—I think we’ve been to one Italian restaurant since moving up here. After Osteria Nonni, why bother?
  • Sweet Lady Jane, Los Angeles. There are great bakeries within walking distance of our house here. Better than SLJ, actually. But going to SLJ was such an adventure.
  • Aroma Cafe, Studio City. Oh my God. It’s full of pastries. Really damn good pastries. Nearby is Caioti Pizza, also excellent.
  • Movie theaters. I know there are a ton of new movie theaters iin this area too, but the ones in LA are just better. Maybe they put more effort into them because so many industry people will see them.
  • Live Steamers. The Live Steamers are railroad enthusiasts who operate model trains on Sundays. Model trains you can ride. Sophia, train enthusiast, loved riding these trains. You go through a tunnel, you go over a bridge, you go past little dioramas of Western towns…it’s good stuff.
  • Movie-town chat. Everyone’s tangentially related to the movie biz down there. It’s in the air, on the streets, and in every cafe. Everyone’s doing a deal, writing a script, yelling into their cell phone about points. The equivalent up here is computer industry talk. Not as sexy.
  • UCLA Extension. Classes on everything for a reasonable price, with the classes held close to our house. Why didn’t I take Latin while I could? I took writing classes, most of which were very good.
  • The Last Grenadier. This was one of the first things Darin mentioned. The Last Grenadier is a games shop in Burbank that has everything the gamer needs. Sophia liked the big bins of multi-sided dice.

I’m sure I missed a ton of stuff. I’ll probably keep adding to this list.

And now a few things I know I don’t miss about LA:

  • The freeways. They ain’t got nothing like 280, “The world’s most beautiful freeway,” down there. They’re all like 101. I don’t drive 101 around here.
  • The heat. Or at least the perception of heat. Darin found a website that compared temperatures for LA and the Silicon Valley and found they were comparable. I don’t believe it. It’s hotter down there.
  • The Republicans. Down there, Tom McClintock is a viable candidate and people will vote for Arnold. WTF? Glad to be back up here for that reason alone.