why does she insist on telling us this?
Reason number 4598 why I know Darin loves me: I can pull the nonsense I pulled in LAX and on the flight to Cincinnati today and he doesn't run screaming from me.
We woke up this morning and I said, "Gosh, I feel kind of sick." I learned during the morning sickness to eat when I felt like that, so I ate. Didn't help any. We waited for the limo and headed on out to LAX. We went to the gate, which was packed, and we waited. And waited. And waited. Finally Delta made the announcement that the plane they had waiting for us had mechanical difficulties. They rerouted some people through Atlanta (considering they were going through Cincinnati, that's a hell of detour). And we waited.
My stomach didn't feel any better.
Darin got me a Diet Coke from McDonald's when we first sat down. An hour later, my stomach was still icky, so he got me another one. I had a few sips and I realized, Uh oh.
I knew there was a garbage can on the other side of the pillar right next to my seat. Of course, this was really going to gross out the other people waiting in the lounge, but it was better than nothing...
I didn't make it. I tossed my cookies right in front of my seat. I knew tossing them once wasn't going to be the end of it, and I started running for the bathroom, which was conveniently about 30 miles from our lounge. I ran as fast I could--I didn't think I was going to make it; it was touch and go--and finally heaved my guts out for several minutes. I lost the Diet Cokes, my breakfast, and dinner from the night before.
When I was done, I realized I'd managed to hit myself a few times. Ooo, yuck.
I washed myself and my clothes off and headed back to the gate...where I discovered a)Darin had had to clean up the mess I left and b)the plane was boarding. We were sitting at the back of the plane, so we boarded first. Oh great--the plane was laid out in a 2-3-2 formation, and we had the 3, which meant I was going to be in the middle.
My stomach wasn't feeling neato-keen, so I asked the flight attendant for air sick bags. Then I drank some water, which I thought would be good.
A half hour later, I made it to the lavatory in time to lose the water.
Drank a couple of ginger ales. Eventually tossed those into air sick bags. Nibbled on lettuce from the in-flight meal, tossed it. I eventually got the hint and stopped putting anything in my mouth.
Used a lot of air sick bags, actually. I learned quite a lot about air sick bag etiquette. For example:
1. Only fill about a third of the bag before moving on to the next one. You need to fold over the top several times in order to ensure proper sealing.
Because you can only use a little bit of what's essentially a tiny bag to begin with, please to remember:
2. Always have the next air sick bag ready to go.
Oh yes, and there's an important corollary to this one:
3. Make sure the air sick bag you have readied to use has a sealing strip. You do not want a used air sick bag that can reopen.
I asked Darin if I should apologize to the guy sitting on my other side. He said no, absolutely not (4. Do not acknowledge use of the air bags to any other passenger--they KNOW). He massaged the back of my neck and told me everything was okay. He assured me I didn't smell like vomit, despite the fact that that was all I could smell and I still had wet spots on my overalls from where I'd had to wash them off in the bathroom.
It's a four-hour flight to Cincinnati. I was not a happy camper. I did try to make a joke as to how other passengers must be saying, "Wow, she must really hate to fly."
When we landed, I asked if it was okay if I just went to the hotel, rather than go to Fun Central and whoop it up. He said it was fine.
Darin's cousin Jody, her boyfriend Brian, and her friend Jill picked us up. Jill is 8.5 months pregnant, so we talked some while waiting for our bag. She gave me a Life Saver, which improved the taste in my mouth. She was slightly worried that I might get car sick, but I showed her the purloined (unused) air sick bags and told her I was prepared.
We stopped at the hotel long enough for Darin and me to check in, get to the room, and have Darin say to me, "Get your clothes off." Ah yes, I remember the days when he used to say that to me the second we walked into hotel rooms. However, we have been together many years: he just wanted to take my clothes to his aunt's house so that he could get them washed.
I climbed into bed and dozed for a while. Then I got up and read some of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. I took an orange juice out of the room fridge and drank it--I was immensely heartened when it stayed in my stomach.
Darin came home and told me everyone had missed me at the house. I said that I would probably be okay the next day and could join in the Big Fun then.
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Copyright 1999 Diane Patterson
Send comments and questions to diane@spies.com