¿Fiesta o Lynch Mob?

So I called a woman I know at ICM, an assistant to a literary agent. All assistants to agents want to grow up to be agents--cultivate the assistant. I've spoken to her a couple of times and kept in touch, though I haven't shown her anything. Yesterday, I called up specifically to ask if she wanted to see my thesis script.

Almost the first thing out of her mouth: "Are you listed in Smash Cut?"

That is, the fake script list put out by the Six.

I said (once I regained my equilibrium), "No, I wasn't in there, it isn't an official publication of USC and please don't think that it is." Well, she did think it was from USC and she thought the whole thing was a great idea.

She said she wanted to see my script anyhow. I said I'd send it.

After I hung up with her I called Julie (director of the GSP program) to tell her about this little conversation--that is, alert her that places like ICM were taking this Fake Script List very seriously. Just in case USC was wondering how it was going over.

I called Len because I wanted his take on this situation. Len has always encouraged us to go for it, do anything we can to get noticed. He's told us wild stories of how people have gotten attention. I thought that maybe he'd think this rogue script list was a great idea.

His first reaction: Get a lawyer.

His second reaction: If the lawyer doesn't prompt USC to take some action, go to the LA Times.

Len is all for self-promotion--but not at the expense of fucking your friends over. The more he thought about the whole situation, the angrier he became. The students committed fraud against their fellow students and against USC.

            LEN
        Someone like Don Simpson would probably
        really like someone who pulled a stunt
        like this.
        
            DIANE
        Yeah, and he's dead.

I figured that as the victim of several of the more heinous acts that Hollywood has to offer--such as his own brother robbing him of credit on scripts such as Taxi Driver--Len would think that this was nothing. But he thinks this is a big deal. My admiration for him grows daily.

A farewell celebration had always been in the works for tonight. So our goodbye party neatly dovetailed with the whole Six situation. Or as I put it: "Party? Lynch Mob? Party? Lynch Mob?"

Word went around that John Furia was meeting with the Six at 5:30, and that all the rest of us should show up at 5:30 as well to give them some idea of how seriously we were taking this. I picked Linda up at her apartment (I wanted to show off My New Car) and we drove together.

The GSP office was packed with angry and cynical GSP students waiting for the Six to show up. A copy of Smash Cut went around and it became immediately obvious that the Six definitely intended this to be taken as a USC publication--the word "unofficial" appears in very small type in one place.

Someone passed around the envelopes that the newsletter had been mailed in: Graduate Screenwriting Program, University of Southern California.

No question about it--there had been intent to perpetrate fraud. At our expense. Stealing the Graduate Screenwriting Program's thunder. The Six had made 26 enemies the last week of school, and nobody was going to forget this.

Everyone made bitter comments about the "elite." As one student put it, "Great, so now everyone thinks that these are the elite writers--and no one would put these Six on anybody's Elite list. So now everyone's going to think that all of us suck."

Elisa, the first of the Six to show up (and the only one for the first 20 minutes), showed up and Todd immediately and openly harshed on her. Then 4 of the remaining 5 showed up; Todd and Christian's comments became even uglier.

The 5 members of the Six stayed in John Furia's office; the rest of us went down to the party.

The party was a nice and unexpected gesture from the department. Hors d'oeuvres and drinks, including alcohol (very unexpected). Of course, it was a bummer that our graduation party had to have this cloud over it. All the students from my class showed up (save Carolann--big surprise) and we stood around gossiping.

Christian had talked to Glenn last night as well, some time after I talked to him. Evidently in between talking to me and talking to Christian, Glenn's line had hardened: he had said that he had nothing to apologize for and "we have to look after our own." It sounded like he was acknowledging that they knew exactly what they were doing. I know this comes through the Christian Reality Distortion Field (heh--no pun intended, but that is kind of funny), but if he's reporting accurately it's disappointing. And infuriating.

John Furia came down to the party and said that he wanted the 5 to speak to us, to apologize to us as a group and tell us what their punishment was going to be, and he wanted that to be the end of it. So we said fine. The 5 came down--Elisa was crying, po' widdle thing--and Glenn acted as spokesman: he apologized for what they had done and said their punishment is:

• they have to write a letter acknowledging that theirs was a fraudulent document that will be mailed to the same mailing list as their newsletter;
• they have to make restitution to the university for the postage and other resources that they used;
• they will not be on the real Script List when it goes out in June.

But: they get to graduate--they're allowed to walk with us at graduation on Friday.

Todd--who only had to be seen putting a noose together in order to complete his picture of fury--immediately asked why they were being allowed to ruin our special day. Glenn retorted that they had earned their academic degree; there were lots of responses of "No, you haven't."

Someone else brought up the fact that Elisa was in charge of the Mentor program and none of us have mentors--was she putting her energy into this little project rather than the job the University paid her for? John Furia said that about 10 of us have mentors; that's the first I've heard of anyone near that number having them. I know of 2.

The 5 trooped off after that.

No one's happy. Nearly everyone I spoke to wanted them expelled post-haste. That they get their degree pisses everyone off.

And who the hell believes that the Six will going to give the Department their actual mailing list? (Besides John Furia, I guess.) Glenn told me that 100 newsletters were mailed; Linda heard from someone else that 150 were mailed; and another student, who was in the office the day that the Six had finished putting the envelopes together, says that there were hundreds. These went out all over town.

After all the hubbub died down, Arden, the Sixth of the Six, showed up at the party and started circulating as if nothing had happened--he had missed the dressing down from John Furia and the public apology. Linda told me that Todd actually ran Arden out of the room, saying, "Get out of here" and "Don't ruin our party." Todd was quite a sight last night.

I talked with many fellow students, finding out how they were doing--everyone's a head case and totally frazzled this week--and a couple of the teachers, like Len and Robert the Rewrite Prof.

Len is thinking of writing a book, about his life in general and his adventures in Hollywood in particular. His anecdotes in Easy Riders Raging Bulls were his way of "testing the waters" and gauging the reaction to what he has to say. Since Linda's main job in her life has been ghost-writer for nonfiction books, she was all over the idea. (There's the added bonus of getting to hear all of Len's tales in their uncensored glory, which is certainly quite an incentive.) They may actually do this project together, because Linda has one of the top nonfiction agents in New York.

We stayed late and then I drove Linda home. She gave me a big hug and told me how much she appreciated me. "You have to say these things," she said. "You can't let them go unsaid." It was the kind of moment that made me wonder if she was going to go lie down and pass away in the middle of the night.

I went home and watched the tape of Buffy that Darin had made for me. We both thought that episode sucked--all of the characters were acting way over the top and cartoonish, and the plot was just...uck. So not a good Buffy week.

Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics

This morning: 5.3 miles. I was afraid that after a day off my body would say, No way, babe. But I did it. I'm feeling good.