goodness, gracious.
"So try to imagine what it would be like to live in a household designed for and controlled by elephants. "
Karma buzzed me on ICQ to remind me to mention what happened with that rewrite project. I've decided to pass. I was already in the mood for passing--anything in this town with the word "free" attached to it raises those little hairs on the back on my neck--but after reading the script I decided it was definite; the project didn't speak to me. It's my genre (thriller) but not my milieu; it's a Tarantino/Hong Kong film noir kind of thing, and, in my not-so-humble opinion, requires more work than I'm willing to put in if I don't believe in it.
And that's really the important part.
I am reminded of the old joke attributed variously to Churchill and Wilde: the wit in question asks a lady if she'll sleep with him for a million dollars (or pounds, I suppose) and she says, "Yes." Then he asks if she'll sleep with him for five dollars and she says, "What do you think I am?" And he says, "We've already established what you are; now we're haggling over price."
I am sure that there is some amount of money that would get me to dive into this project. I also know that no amount of money will make me love something I don't already feel some connection with.
As one of my teachers at USC said, "When you take a project for the money, you will earn every penny."
When it's a project on spec, there's no percentage in it.
Last night I attended a survey group for SUV owners. Specifically, luxury SUV owners (or, LSUVs, if you want the jargon). Turned out it was sponsored by Cadillac to find out what will attract the people who buy these vehicles, since Cadillac is rolling out its own, the Escalade.
I don't think I made very many points with the woman running the group when we did the exercise, "Pretend I'm your friend and I'm going to Casa De Cadillac (a nearby Cadillac dealership) to buy a car. What would you say to me?" For the "anti" column, I said, "They sell Cadillacs!"
They have an image problem. I think we managed to get that idea through to them last night.
I made a hundred bucks for two hours work. Not bad, I guess.
Once is astonishing, twice begins to look like collusion: over the past three days I've heard from the only two people I met freshman year with whom I'm still in contact, Fritz and Diane.
Fritz is finishing up his completely off-the-wall masters program--I'm not the only one!)--earning himself an MFA in Music Conducting from the University of Cincinnati. He's already been a computer consultant and a high school teacher, among other things, since graduating, so he's off to be a conductor for musicals in NYC. Which will just be a good excuse to get me and Darin off to New York to see him. His life there will be a little different than last time, when he was a computer consultant and had a $1200 month studio on the Upper West Side.
Last I heard from Diane she'd had a baby. And now she tells me the baby is 20 months old. Sigh.
Yesterday I said: "I'm squirming, trying to figure out how to do this. Hopefully, the audience will be squirming by the time I'm done."
Pooks wrote to say: "Squirming is the acid test for a good sex scene."
(As I seem to recall, squirming is a good sign for real sex as well. But I'm married, so I've kind of forgotten much about this topic.)
Anyhow, this comment led me to images of romance writers all over the US writhing in self-induced squirms. And then the poor writer over here, whose imagination just won't let her get to that state. This led to a laughing fit, so I figured it was worth sharing.
You can't get The Lion In Winter on DVD! And, evidently, the original negative is falling apart and no one will ante up to restore it. So what's Hollywood going to do? Remake it. Sigh.
Whaddya wanna bet in this version the actress who plays Eleanor is younger than her Henry?
(Eleanor was 11 or 12 years older than Henry. Katharine Hepburn was 61, 26 years older than Peter O'Toole, who was 35, but you totally buy that they've been married for years. Anthony Hopkins was 30 at the time, but you buy O'Toole as his father--I don't know if it was makeup or the ravages of his drinking at that point. I wonder if it was considered daring, to have an older actress paired with a younger one. It would be unbelievable now. They'll have to get Susan Sarandon.)
I usually follow Darin's lead when it comes to which browser to use, so I am now back with Internet Explorer 4.5. I feel icky when I use Microsoft products, I notice. The anti-MS campaign has definitely wormed its cold, harsh fingers around my heart.
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Copyright 1999 Diane Patterson
Send comments and questions to diane@spies.com