Lions And Lambs

Ubiety sent me the URL of someone who had evidently complained about me and my opinions. I checked it out. It's pretty funny. The journaler Innertubes (or just Tubes...I admit I didn't hang around an awful lot looking for the correct name) decided on February 23 to take me to task for my essay Why Web Journals Suck.

Grade: B for Effort, F for execution.

Why B for Effort? Because Tubes made a fundamental mistake in reading my essay, which is that she thinks the essay says exactly the way things have to be. Of course it doesn't, but this reader clearly cannot figure that out. What I do say is that if you're going to publish on the Web there are standards so that you look like a halfway competent writer and publisher; ignore those standards at your own peril.

But even worse than that, Tubes clearly believes that judgements (except hers, of course, of me) are unfair. That you cannot judge the worth of something. Well, let me let you in on a little secret:

If all things are equal, then everything is crap.

If you aim for the lowest-common denominator, you aim for crap. There are standards. There are guidelines to keep in mind. There ain't no such thing as a free lunch--just because you put something out there doesn't mean anyone else is going to want to read it. Curious as to why people aren't sticking around? Read the essay. Ask yourself if you're writing the same thing day after day. Or if you have a blah-looking page. Or if you never describe anything in any detail.

Tubes gets an F for execution because she (I keep saying she, I don't actually know one way or the other) goes straight to the lowest form of communication in order to address me: she uses curse words because she can't think of any other way to say it. I create a well-written essay; she responds by calling me a "condescending bitch". Somebody has issues, and not only about the relative worth of her own journal, folks.

By the way, when you don't use spellcheck, you only hurt yourself, darlin'.

Darin came up to my office yesterday and put his arms around me and said, "I wouldn't berate you for something like that, honey." He was very sweet. We talked about the diet and how I was feeling for a while. I felt much better afterwards.

I did 5 pages of my rewrite script yesterday. I got a call from the teacher today to see how I was doing and I didn't blow off Friday's class for no reason (no, I am actually working and will drop off some pages this week). He reminded me that next week is Spring Break--aaaaiiiiiiyyyyyeeeeeee!!!!!--and perhaps I can get Act I plus another sequence done by the end of Spring Break. So while I'm taking this week off from Thesis Script, I'd better get something done on the Rewrite Script.

The teacher told me that he's disappointed in my classmates' understanding of structure. He can't believe that anyone can get through this program and not know what the structure of a screenplay is, or how to recognize it. I can. It's a very uneven program--you don't learn the same things in every class.

For example, USC teaches a technique of dividing up the screenplay into 8 sequences--two in Act I, four in Act II, two in Act III. Dividing up a screenplay this week isn't a formula; it just makes writing and figuring out where you are a little easier. I never heard of this until Linda told me about it, and then the teacher in Advanced Script Analysis mentioned it.

From what Rob G., the rewrite prof, said on the phone, some of my classmates simply can't grasp what structure is and how it affects the screenplay. They may change one or two things here...and they don't realize that those changes affect quite a lot--if not everything--down the line.

Another problem is that some of my classmates think they know it all already. One thing I'm very glad about is before entering this program I decided to entertain the notion that maybe I didn't know everything, that maybe screenwriting is harder than it looks. And I've learned a lot over the past two years, not the least of which is, I don't know anything and there's always more to learn.

However, several of my comrades do think they know it all. They think they're above criticism or any criticism they get is foolish. One in particular--anyone from my class will know who this is--thinks he's a professional already and only wants kudos, not feedback. It's irritating both for us and for him, because clearly he's wasting his time and while he's at it he's wasting my time as well.

Empty your teacups, people.

Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics

Getting back on the horse: 2.2 miles this morning. Very slowly.