11 june 1999
austin powers: the review
a totally seriousness-free entry.
The quote of the day:
It got weird, didn't it.
-- Dr. Evil, in Austin Powers

Running news:
None.

I have to say that the ubiquitous Austin Powers promotions have gotten totally out of hand. First, the commercials; then, the billboards for Virgin Atlantic; then, the Heineken ads. And then, okay, most of this year's MTV Movie Awards.

Austin Powers answering Movie-Phone?

The only thing to say to that is, but of course, Behave.

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me is not a good movie. I hope you weren't expecting it to be. It's not even a consistently funny movie: there are some stretches that are simply painful. And if you're like me and you can't stand bathroom humor, there will be stretches of the movie you can't watch. (There's one scene that made me gag uncontrollably, but please remember that I can't listen to Ren and Stimpy.)

The movie's saving grace is that there is nothing Mike Myers won't do for a laugh, and I do mean nothing. This week's Entertainment Weekly says, "The glory of Myers as Austin Powers is that he was willing to be majestically uncool, transcendentally embarrassing." And that about sums it up.

There is no plot--won't bother trying to come up with one. There are some very funny scenes, including the funniest sequence of, uh, dick jokes you've ever heard. (Believe you me, I was pretty darn sceptical when I heard that too, but it's true.) Of course, Myers can't let anything alone--if it worked once, he'll bring it back and hammer it into the ground. And he's clearly not always sure when a bit isn't working--how else to explain the entire existence of Fat Bastard?

(And way not enough Seth Green. Folks in Hollywood: please, get more Seth Green into your movies. That is all.)

But I laughed plenty of times. One of the interesting things I've found about the whole Austin Powers phenomenon is that, despite the oodles of hype, you (or at least I) still want to like it, mostly because it's so silly.

If you liked the first one, you'll probably like this one (unless you don't like bathroom humor). If you didn't like the first one...what the hell's your problem? Go back and watch it again.

 * * *

Darin and I watched the MTV Movie Awards. The MTV Awards shows totally won us over a few years ago, when they had characters from various TV shows introducing the different video awards as though they were doing dialogue from their show. (Best bit (tie): Angela Lansbury as Jessica Fletcher and Dennis Franz as Sipowicz saying, "Marilyn Manson? I like her.")

One year had Mike Myers (as Austin Powers, I think) doing the hosting duties--think he's going to end up doing the Oscars some year soon? so do I--and another had Ben Stiller and Janeane Garofalo. The takeoff they did on the trailer scene from The Lost World had us chuckling for days: "Leno's very angry!"

The awards themselves are pretty stupid, of course. Stephen Dorff was nominated for Best Villain (for Blade); Darin turned to me and said, "Best villain? He couldn't convince me he wasn't a heroin addict."

However, this year they did have the funniest award: Best Dramatic Pause. I can't remember all four nominees, but the nomination was for the best--and longest--empty space in a movie, where an actor just says nothing. By the time they got to nominee four, Meet Joe Black, we were in hysterics, and watching the scene where Anthony Hopkins meets Brad Pitt--which must have at least 30 seconds of dead space of Brad Pitt just standing there--did us in.

Of course, the capper was that Lisa Kudrow (the host) opened the envelope and said, "The winner for Best Dramatic Pause is..." and then she said nothing. Finally, cut to commercial.

Jim Carrey pulled an Andy Kaufman, showing up dressed like a hippie with a beard of several years' growth. Carrey is making Man in the Moon, the bio of Andy Kaufman, and has clearly gotten into character. Of course, if he were really into Kaufman, he wouldn't have admitted he was Jim Carrey and would have gone off on a totally strange rant.

 * * *

Am I the only person who hates that Shania Twain song, That Don't Impress Me (or whatever the hell it's called)? In fact, I hated her last pop single as well, the name of which escapes me but which I always described as "the most generic song on the radio." Shania's 0 for 2 in this house.


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Copyright 1999 Diane Patterson
Send comments and questions to diane@spies.com