diane understands that she wasn't nice, but doesn't care much.
3 miles.
I know I'm not the nicest person in the world. I'm not very patient with stupid people. I accept my inner bastard.
I went to the Beverly Hills Public Library today, in my continuing quest to find a good public library in this area (the BHPL is better than the one near me, but it still sucks in comparison to the Sunnyvale Public Library, let alone the San Francisco Public Library). You get two free hours in the parking structure next door.
When I came out of the library, I discovered a Rolls-Royce had parked next to my car. RIGHT next to my car. At most two inches between the cars. Closer, even, than the Jaguar that parked next to me when I had breakfast with Fernando a few weeks ago.
(In case you feel the need to write me about the last time you came across an SUV taking up more than its fair share of a parking lot: a)I've heard it, thanks, and b)my car was between the lines of the parking space, with room to spare on both sides. It's a relatively small SUV.)
I can't figure it out--do other drivers think they're invulnerable because they have nice cars? Because I have a nice car I won't do anything rash? Just because you're right next to me doesn't mean I'm incapable of keying you, okay?
Last time I was empty-handed, but this time I had a pad of paper with me, and I started writing a furious note. Then I had to stop and rewrite it, becauseI had been too restrained and literate in my first go-round. While I was in the middle of my rewrite, a woman came up and stared at the two cars.
"Is this your car?" I asked, pointing to the Rolls-Royce.
"No," she said. Then she pointed to the SUV. "This is."
"Actually, that's my car."
She double-checked. So it was, she said. She had the same car, one level down. She was infuriated by the parking. She told me to call the police, who were in the same building as the library. (When they say "library police," they're not kidding.) I said, "What can they do?" She agreed. I went back to my nasty note.
I leaned all over the Rolls-Royce to write it. Now, if I came up to my car and someone was leaning all over it, I think I might go up to that person and say, "Excuse me, what the hell are you doing?" I was mid-note (having finally decided on: "You have a nice car. I don't know how you've kept it that way BECAUSE YOU ARE SO INCOMPETENT AT PARKING. Signed, I had to get into my car on the passenger side because of you.") when I realized that someone was putting something in the Rolls' trunk.
The driver was an incredibly old man who probably didn't even see me standing there. I know, I'm supposed to be polite to my elders, and usually I am. But in this case, I wasn't. I blew up at him. "Did you see my car here?" I said. "You left me no room!"
He apologized.
I said that wasn't good enough. I told him to back out so I could get into my car.
He said he was sorry.
I did not accept his apology. The man clearly was in no physical shape to be driving from the way he was moving, and if he couldn't see my car there, he didn't have the eyesight to be driving. Clearly, he wouldn't have been able to read my note.
I stood back and watched very carefully as he pulled out of the space. I was just waiting for him to sideswipe my car. I probably made him very afraid; he pulled out very, very slowly.
I know. My car is just a thing. I have insurance. But we have socially acceptable behavior, and leaving two inches between the door of your car and the door of mine is not socially acceptable behavior.
I've had this happen to me twice in three weeks. I had this happen once the entire 9 years I had my Integra. Sigh.
I have a niece! Yay!
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Copyright 1999 Diane Patterson
Send comments and questions to diane@spies.com