there's carnage everywhere--hide your eyes
8.8 miles.
Darin told me he wanted to see Saving Private Ryan. I got a feeling of, "Well, I don't know about this," but I decided that there is no movie I should not see (with the exception of the stupidhead movies, like BASEketball), so I was going.
We arrived at the theater at 5pm, for a 5:45 show. The theater was already full. This movie is going to kick ass at the box office this week as well.
My moviegoing experience was ruined a little by the couple next to me, who despite at least 4 shushings on my part, kept talking. And they were in their 50s: old enough to know better.
And now, on to the movie. My review:
OhmyGodohmyGodmakeitstoppleasepleasepleasemakeitstop oh good, here's a nice sceneit'shappeningagainmakeitstopidon'twantto oh, this is pleasant, let's stay here that'stheendofohmyGodhelphelp.
The first half hour, as you've heard, is brutal. Beyond introducing you to the carnage that was Omaha Beach, this sequence sets up another scenario really quickly: you don't know who's going to buy it, and when. Anything can happen.
In case you're avoiding seeing this movie because of the first half hour, allow me to point out that I managed to stomach the entire thing with my eyes wide open, and I cannot sit through the audio portion of Ren and Stimpy. You can take it, believe me, particularly if you've heard what's coming. Anticipation is always worse than the actual instantiation: "Oh, ten-foot-tall cockroaches? I was expecting twenty-foot-tall cockroaches. Okay then."
Tom Hanks, Giovanni Ribisi, Paul Giamatti, Tom Sizemore: great, great, great, great. Ed Burns, Matt Damon: weak. Dennis Farina, Ted Danson--TED DANSON?: cameos. Jeremy Davies's Corporal: a character I wanted to bitch-slap so hard I got a cramp in my hand...which means that the actor did an amazing job. The shaking hand thing: overplayed.
Flaws: Spielberg's love of coincidence. I happen to adhere to a theory that says you can have one coincidence per movie: more than that, and you're showing the audience the puppeteer. (Darin says he's the one who gave me this theory, but I don't think he was.) There are at least 4 coincidences that I can name off the top of my head, which shows weak story-telling.
Overall--like you need me to tell you this--Saving Private Ryan is a really good movie and you should go see it. I'm hesitant to call it a great movie, because I don't think great can be judged contemporaneously. It's certainly one of the best movies I've seen for a while. I am floored by the fact this movie was made by the same guy who foisted The Lost World on us a year ago. (How is he doing this, by the way: The Lost World, Amistad, and Saving Private Ryan in one year?)
My father told me a story, years ago, about how his 35-year-old uncle was drafted in 1944 to fight in the Battle of the Bulge. He was still upset, 50 years later, that the Army had sent this middle-aged man off to die because they needed bodies. Well, there is nothing like the first 30 minutes of Saving Private Ryan to show you exactly what the military was doing with those bodies. And what happened at Omaha (and Utah, and all the other beaches) was planned, just like you saw. They knew what was going to happen.
I'm really glad my Dad--who was 16 in 1944 and wanted to lie about his age to join the army--did not go to that war. (He ended up serving in the Navy in the Korean War...uh, Police Action. His boat sailed from Greenland to Jamaica and back again. The Koreans never attacked the Eastern Seaboard.)
Let's recap today in Kenneth Starrland:
- Despite years of investigation and an unlimited budget, and despite tons of "leaks" assuring us, the public, that indictments are on the way, Kenneth Starr has not found anything to hold against the Clintons in Whitewater, Filegate, Travelgate, or any of the other various "gates" that have been thrown at us again and again and again.
- Monica Lewinsky gave a deposition in the Paula Jones case, a civil lawsuit, in which she said she did not have sex with Clinton.
- Bill Clinton said the same thing in a deposition for the Paula Jones case.
- The Paula Jones case, a civil lawsuit, has been thrown out on its (lack of) merits.
- In the US, sexual harrassment of a superior against someone working for him is illegal.
- In the US, all lawsuits having to do with sexual harrassment are brought by the person harrassed, not by a third party.
- Monica Lewinsky has brought no such action against Clinton. Any problems caused by sex that may or may not have happened are therefore the province of Mr. and Mrs. Clinton, not Kenneth Starr.
So we're left with: Did Bill attempt to influence Monica's testimony in the Paula Jones case? Mind you, it is not illegal to influence testimony provided that testimony is truthful. So if you plead with someone to tell the truth, you haven't broken the law. Monica has evidently said, over and over again, despite months of harrassment from Mr. Starr, that Clinton did not attempt to influence her testimony for good or for bad.
What we've got on the sex front is: it's her word against his.
Please tell me you'd be disgusted if Kenneth Starr recommended impeachment based on whether they had sex or not.
(I'm not even getting into the timeline of Linda Tripp's involvement in this case, which clearly shows she's lying her ass off.)
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I woke up at 5:45 this morning and immediately hit the road. (Well, I dressed first, but I forgot to put on sunscreen.) I wanted to do 10 miles, but my legs felt like lead 5 miles into it. I didn't want to stop at 5, though, because I had gotten such an early start and wanted to make the most of it.
After I finished I went back to bed. Darin was just getting up. I said, "If you need me, I'll be over here." He didn't. I slept an additional two hours.
Copyright 1998 Diane Patterson
Send comments and questions to diane@spies.com