hmmm: martial arts or fencing? fighting options open further
The quote of the day:
Sling Blade: The Series: This would work kind of like the original _Kung Fu_ where the main character wanders from town to town, befriending the weak and oppressed and, at the end of each episode, brutally murdering their oppressors with gardening implements.
Running news:
4.7 miles. Not my best running.
Yes, I talked Darin (who talked Fernando) into seeing The Mask Of Zorro. They really wanted to see There's Something About Mary, which nothing short of a divorce petition could get me to see (I really hate the Dumb and Dumber school of movies, but if you like them, more power to you).
We decided to go to the 5:15 showing at the AMC. The Twilight show, as it knows, is the cheapest of the day, because nobody wants to go to a movie at that time. Which usually makes it perfect for Darin and me.
We got to the theater at 4:45 and discovered the movie was sold out.
SOLD OUT?
I don't even know the last time I went to a movie and it was sold out. Certainly not arriving a half an hour early.
We walked over to the AMC 14, where we had missed the last showing. I noticed that every showing of Zorro was sold out for the day. I was astounded.
Out in front of the AMC 14, the students from Swords Fencing Academy had evidently been giving an exhibition of swordplay for the folks from Channel 2 CBS. I felt sorry for the fencing students, even though they seemed to be happy enough--it was hot yesterday. Definitely in the 90s, possibly even into the 100s. The thought of putting on a fencing exhibition made me tired, particularly with the whole fencing outfit on.
We got into Fernando's car and drove the two blocks back to the AMC 6, where Darin bought tickets for the 8:30 show. The ticket seller told him to be back by 7:30 to get in line.
Whoa.
We drove over to Glendale and went to Clancy's Crab Broiler for dinner. I had a bay shrimp salad, because I wasn't very hungry. Fernando had the fish and chips and Darin had coconut shrimp. Most of the dinner conversation centered around a table that had two actors, one of whom played the father in Fargo. (You were right, Fernando: the same guy plays "Mr. Parker" on The Pretender.) The two actors were discussing some trailer that they both appear in--a quick check of the IMDB alerts me to the fact that they may have been talking about Saving Private Ryan.
We headed back to Burbank, and at 6:50 I got in line for Zorro. Mind you, there was already a line for an 8:30 movie. Darin and Fernando went to CompUSA, where they ran into Harry, Brent, and Al. I haven't gone into this here, but for various and sundry reasons Harry and Brent (and possibly Al and Mike) are not speaking to Fernando anymore, which made this run-in somewhat awkward. Evidently Al said hi though.
The theater let us in at 8. We were in the first 20 in line, and yet we couldn't get the seats we wanted because a couple of people saved two whole rows. I think there's got to be a limit on how many seats one person is allowed to save. 3 is reasonable; 5 on the outside. An entire fucking row is not acceptable.
But just to let you know that Los Angeles is not filled with violent hotheads, the rest of us moviegoers let them get away with it. We were all plenty pissed off, but no one forced their way in. Which just encourages that sort of thing, I guess.
Oh right: the movie.
I enjoyed it. The audience really loved it, applauding a number of stunts. One reviewer pointed out that a stunt like riding two horses at once has been around as long as the cinema has, but nowadays we're so used to over-the-top stunts that are either clearly computer-generated or use obvious stuntmen (see the obnoxious speed boat chase in Face/Off) that a really good stunt done by a normal guy really tickles the audience's fancy.
Antonio Banderas is a hoot. (Unfortunately, they should have looped one or two more things, because a couple of times his accent really gets in the way.) He has excellent comic timing. I love really good-looking guys who can act goofy. I have a list of these men, by the way: Cary Elwes, Bruce Campbell, Cary Grant, Errol Flynn.
Anthony Hopkins is, like, Anthony Hopkins. He shows up, he rolls vowels, he smokes cigarillos. I thought he was great. I'm sure this comes as a surprise to absolutely no one.
There is a huge flaw in this movie, which were serious enough to keep me from loving this movie. Which I really wanted to, because this is my kind of flick: lots of action, lots of silliness, lots of repartee of both the verbal and active varieties. Spoilers follow:
There are no setbacks for Our Heroes. Sure, their plans don't quite go the way they always want, but they always succeed and they always get away with it.A symptom of this problem is that there is no end of Act II. There is no moment at which we in the audience fear that Zorro's going to get caught, when the threat of the bad guys is really made clear.
I realized mid-movie that Zorro has a plot you need at least a third-grade education to understand. This is also somewhat unusual for the movies that have been coming out lately. (For example, Armageddon has a plot that would insult anyone with at least a third-grade education.) There's quite a bit about the history of California-qua-Spanish province and California-qua-Mexican province that the movie glosses straight over, simply because there isn't time. Santa Anna simply isn't well-known enough for the most part.
By the way, Joaquin Murietta (spelled "Murrieta" in the movie) was a famous bandit whose head reportedly ended up in a jar.
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