the world ends with a particularly loud bang.
The quote of the day:
If you want to do something with your life, never listen to anybody else, no matter how clever or expert they may appear. Keep your eyes open and your ears shut, and as the American say--"Go for it."
Running news:
8.3 miles. I got started at 6:45am, so the air wasn't too hot. Until that last mile.
Oh yeah...the movie.
Before every movie here, it seems that one or another of the sound system companies--and sometimes more than one--have ear-splitting promos designed for maximum auditory annoyance. The Simpsons once did a parody of this in which all of the patrons in the theatre are blasted into oblivion by one of these promos. Why a company specializing in sound would choose the most grating, the most vile, the most awful noises with which to promote their superior sound technology is beyond me.
Armageddon is two-and-a-half hours of one of these sound promos.
Darin and I got home three hours ago and my ears are still ringing.
On the upside: Armageddon is non-stop thrills. If you are looking for a movie in which exciting things happen continuously, this is the movie for you. The photography is great, the effects are excellent, and Bruce Willis looks suitably heroic in every one of his lingering closeups.
On the downside: Armageddon is non-stop thrills. There is nothing else: plot, character, logical sense. Exciting things happen continuously for no apparent reason. There are some logical gaps that make The Rock--which I fully admit to enjoying--seem like a watertight script. Here's one conundrum: How are they going to keep this whole asteroid thing secret when New York City has been torn to pieces? It's just a question, only one of many.
Exciting things also happen in a none-too-subtle ploy to keep the adrenaline levels up, up, up--not because the story needs them or warrants them. Darin pointed out that luck, both of the good and bad varieties, is the major player in this story: stuff just happens, and the heroes just happen to get out of it. It got really old really quick. "Oh look, they're almost done with the drilling...bring on the meteor shower!" That kind of stuff.
The characters are flat and uninteresting, which probably doesn't come as a shock.
And I discovered that I've been influenced by the movies one too many times: there's a huge subplot between Bruce Willis and Liv Tyler, who plays his daughter, and I kept thinking, "There's no way she's his daughter; if anything, she ought to be playing his girlfriend." A love triangle might have made for a more interesting subplot...or maybe it wouldn't have, given that Liv Tyler and Ben Affleck (playing the deeply-in-love lovers) are the two least interesting people in movies today.
Darin and I decided, upon walking out of the theatre that we both preferred Deep Impact to Armageddon, because there seemed to be a skootch more humanity in Deep Impact.
However, some of the action scenes are quite thrilling--mission accomplished. So if you like action movies and want to see Steve Buscemi throw off hundreds of one-liners, check this out at a matinee...and bring earplugs. I don't feel like I wasted $4.75 as much as I wasted a significant part of my hearing and 144 minutes of my life.
Roger Ebert's review--a big ol' thumbs-down--sums it all up pretty well.
Armageddon makes two Billy Bob Thornton movies in a row.
Yesterday I rented One False Move, which I've heard tons about (mostly about how great it is) and had never seen. So Darin and I settled in to watch the movie, which according to the Internet Movie Database is the first thing Thornton ever got credit for writing.
It's well made and Bill Paxton gives a good performance as a manic small-town Southern sheriff, but it's not the deepest thing I've ever seen. I was underwhelmed, in other words. All of the moves were telegraphed, and midway through Darin said, "How do you think it's going to end?" and my reply totally nailed it. Thornton gives a totally over-the-top portrayal of a psychotic con in this movie; he was somewhat more subdued in Armageddon, but probably only because he couldn't hear his co-stars lines.
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Send comments and questions to diane@spies.com