Protect Your Anonymity

It took me several minutes into it to realize that what they were saying is that Irabu is the son of a white guy.

Why didn't they just say that? It was highly annoying to think that an otherwise intelligent news program was speaking in code.

NPR ended the story with strains of Madame Butterfly. Oh please.

I went to The New York Times to read the story. And the story says American, American, American. Perhaps the son of an American serviceman. Last I checked, the services were integrated, but perhaps this is not the case.

I know that it often seems like American == white, but it's not in fact the case. Honest.

No wonder we can't seem to get over this race problem.

I haven't seen Mr. Irabu in action; I understand he's a very good pitcher.

Here's a shocker: Vince Foster committed suicide! Even Kenneth "I'll get Clinton if it kills me" Starr says so! Can we drop it now?

Recently Darin discovered that our Zip drive has stopped working. Since I bought the Zip drive, it fell to me to investigate how to get it replaced. Here is what I've found:

Iomega is the single most unfriendly company to buyers of its products that I have ever run across.

Their web site is opaque on the topic of returns -- I finally discovered a document that said I had to call a support person and once it was diagnosed that indeed the Zip drive is dead, they'll give you the magic Zip drive return number. The catch? Their tech support is a call charged to your credit card. If you don't have a credit card, there's a handy 900 number.

Their support people on AOL tell you to begin at the beginning and make sure that everything's broken.

It is, it is, honest.

Are you sure?

Well, yes, I'm sure. (Do you think it would be helpful at this point to mention my years at Apple and the fact that my husband was tech lead for System 7 and knows a little something about system software and getting peripherals to work? Naaah.)

Argh. I have to pay el dinero grande to get what's due me as a consumer. It's so damn annoying.

Needless to say, Iomega's lost yet another repeat customer.

I've been noticing that I am consumed by envy recently. This is often the result of not being involved enough in my own stuff. And it's envy of stupid stuff, too: like the fact that Ceej gets so many more hits per day than I do. I tell Darin of such thoughts, and he gives me a look that tells me exactly what he thinks of that: not much.

I wonder why this is. Why do we get involved in such inanities? Are we always destined to feel inferior to others?

I am reminded of a very funny Stuart Smalley skit on SNL, in which Stuart has a special guest, Michael J. ("to protect your anonymity"), a professional basketball player. Stuart asks Michael if there aren't days when he doesn't want to go out onto to court, because everyone's better than him, because he's not a good player, because he's just not good enough to be there.

"No, Stuart, that never happens."

Isn't that a shocking statement? "No, I'm pretty good, and I know I am." What a radical thing to say. In our society, we are constantly propelling others (usually faceless "children," whom we as a society hate as a group when we're not curtailing civil rights in their honor) to do better, but it's considered proud or boastful to say, I'm good at such-and-such. And we all know that pride goeth before a fall.

I have no idea where I'm going with this.

Is it just me, or is there something, um, xenophobic going on in regards to the hysteria over Chinese influence in Washington? I mean, British Telecom announces it's buying MCI, one of the largest telecommunications companies in the US and there's barely a ripple about those insidious tea-drinking Brits trying to take over our decent American speech.

Perhaps xenophobia isn't quite the word I'm looking for, is it.