Getting The Stories Straight

"Okay, Friday night we went to Tiffany's housewarming party. We both went, right?"

"Um, yeah, except I left early with a headache."

"No, backache sounds better. We were in the car all day."

"What about Saturday? Is that the morning we had breakfast in the room?"

"I don't know, let me check my notes. Right, we had breakfast in the room and read the New York Times."

"We read the New York Times? Nobody's going to believe that."

"We're two serious, intellectual women. What's not to believe?"

"That I didn't see you all weekend until Frankie--"

"Paco."

"God, these surfers and those nicknames. That I didn't see you all weekend until Paco dropped you off at the hotel?"

"Never mind that. What did we do Saturday afternoon?"

"Apartment hunting."

"Where?"

(sounds of map unfolding)

"Westwood?"

"No, let's say the Valley. Burbank...and Pasadena."

"Studio City and Pasadena."

"Ooo, you're right, Studio City sounds better. And Sunday?"

"Apartment hunting. Let's say we saw a few places. From the average to the good."

"Sounds about right. Were there any apartments available?"

"Not that I saw, but then I wasn't paying attention to the For Rent signs, if you know what I mean."

"Where did that guy live?"

"Which one?"

"The one you took off with?"

"Oh, him. I dumped him. Jacques lives up in Laurel Canyon."

"Jacques? Oh please."

"Or Pierre. Something French. I made him bathe."

"Monday we just spent driving back, right?"

"Exactly. We should agree on restaurants and stuff."

"We can discuss that in the car."

"Oops. I meant to tell you about what happened to the car...

"The tattoo. How are you going to explain the tattoo?"

"Shit!"