also, the joys of digital editing and more fears.
Analyze This? That's a fuckin' comedy.
Yesterday was clearly the day to be driving on the freeways in west LA. Well, at least if you're me, Darin, or Fernando. We decided to have lunch in Santa Monica, and it took forever to get there. Even at noon on Saturday, the 405 is backed up in both directions--oy.
When we finally made it into west LA, Darin and Fernando both said, "Herbie!"
"Only it's a new Herbie," Darin said. It was a new Bug painted to look like the car from the Herbie-the-Love-Bug movies, complete with the 53 and racing stripe.
We had lunch at the Border Grill in Santa Monica -- really good, but we ate too much -- and then we went to buy furniture. Bookshelves, to be exact.
Before Darin and I got together, he decorated his condo with Danish teak furniture, which has already looked really nice. I had the cheap furniture -- real post-college stuff. Think "Ikea," without my having bought it at Ikea.
We've had an explosion of books at our house -- thank you, Amazon -- and we have nowhere to put them. Partially because we have too many books, and partially because my cheap bookshelves are small and one's missing a couple of shelves. So I wanted to replace these bookshelves with good bookshelves, ones preferably matching the Danish furniture that's everywhere else in the house.
On the way to the furniture store I heard a duet of "Herbie!" Only this time it was an original Bug painted to look like Herbie. We found ourselves wondering if there was a Herbie convention in town. I mean, what are the chances of having a two Herbie day?
We got to the Dansk Mobel store to find the bookshelves I wanted that would match our other furniture. Yes, I know -- that's a lot of money to spend on bookshelves. But you know what? I want real furniture. I asked people in the AOL Screenwriters Chat if they knew of a Scandinavian furniture store because I wanted to buy bookshelves, and one guy said, "Why don't you use cinder blocks and boards?" Because I don't want to any more, that's why. You don't have to buy bookshelves made out of wood, but I want to, dammit, is that okay?
Of course, it takes 12-16 weeks to get real bookshelves delivered, whereas I could have just picked up fresh new cheap ones at Ikea.
After we returned from our furniture expedition, Darin and Fernando sat down to play with Darin's new toy, Final Cut Pro.
Last year we got a digital video camera as a Chanukah/anniversary/baby/many-other-holidays gift from Darin's parents, and we took video at Thanksgiving and Christmas and Darin took video at Nevin's wedding. So we had all these tapes and nothing to do with them.
Fernando, who has a degree in film and used to work as a cinematographer, was as interested in seeing how this editing system worked as Darin was. So they played with it for a couple of hours before I finally came down to see what was what.
Let me just say, I started taking film classes about 6 years too early.
If I'd had this tech at home, I would have spent hours poring over my projects.
In the space of a few hours, Darin and Fernando not only learned how to use this software but they put together most of a 3-minute video (to the music "All Star," by Smashmouth) of my niece Madeline during our Christmas celebration. In fact, Darin even edited the music (taking out a verse and chorus) almost seamlessly -- and it would have been seamless had he realized how to use some of the editing tools he discovered later.
Now that I think about it...if I'd had this tech at home, Darin would have spent hours poring over my projects.
A moviemaking system (camera, computer, software) of this quality -- Final Cut Pro, in Fernando's estimation, is better than Avid -- is well within the reach of a dedicated amateur filmmaker. Hell of a lot cheaper and more powerful than it used to be -- digital video is getting higher quality all the time. No need to get time at an editing bay or a public television station. If you don't do that film project you've always wanted to do now, you just don't want to. (And you don't need 35mm to do a project -- you can show your talents with video just fine.)
I am looking forward to taking lots of home movies now. Not that our baby was going to escape the camera for two seconds anyhow.
And more fears:
Scott writes:
Whenever I lend a book to someone, I have to flip through the pages first to be sure I haven't left any embarrassing documents tucked inside.
I don't usually keep anything in books except for bookmarks, but now I'm going to think about this. I admit I've found a few interesting things in used books I've bought -- once, I found a business card for a psychologist...who happened to be the husband of a friend of mine. That was odd.
Jennifer writes:
A very strange fear: I'm afraid of any doll with shiny eyes. I feel like they're staring at me, and it gives me the creeps. When I was little, I had a cowgirl doll with rhinestones in her eyes, and when it was dark, her eyes would reflect the light coming in under my bedroom door. It was the only thing I could see if I woke up in the middle of the night... and it's left its mark on me.
And this has left its mark on me. Not only will Bug never get any such dolls, but I am now creeped out by the very idea of them.
Chris writes:
I drive a lot at night; it's rather liberating in a way. Unfortunately, I hate having to stop at a rest area off the interstate. Every guy I see in there I suspect may be a rampaging serial killer. I half expect to get my throat slit while I urinate. So, I always wait until the bathroom is empty before I step in.
Oh, now this I understand. When my car broke down on the 5 outside of Bakersfield, all I could think was, "Great, the freeway of serial killers everywhere." I'm convinced that reading true crime books and crime nonfiction is the easiest way to freak yourself out in any slightly unusual situation.
Jessie writes:
I have always assumed (and still do) that if I had children I would have them at home, cuz my mom was a midwife for ten years and all three of my sibs were born at home. On a regular basis I worry that there will be some bizarre, one-in-a-million complication which requires immediate high-tech intervention, the sort of thing you could get in a hospital but not at home, and that my child will die or be permanently crippled because I decided to have a home birth.
I'm not sure how weird this is. For centuries women have died in horrible ways giving birth and we've heard about it since we were tiny. (I don't remember the first time I remember thinking, "Well, at least I'm built like an Irish peasant," but I was young.) Everyone and their sister insists on giving you their birth horror stories when you're pregnant, as though this will help you give birth -- it won't, but they never got therapy so they have to keep dumping how horrible it is on you. And every movie and TV show you've ever seen uses childbirth as a dramatic plot point: save the mother? save the baby? investigate a horrible complication seen only once every ten years?
It's understandable for women to have horrible fears about giving birth. We're encouraged to.
Short factoid: I have never seen an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon all the way through. I learned to close my eyes. Darin tells me I'm missing something, but it hasn't convinced me.
The answer to Friday's question: CBS digitally altered the Times Square background behind Dan Rather, blocking out among other things an NBC billboard and a Budweiser ad and substituting a billboard for CBS News instead. This was a production of the highly ethical CBS News division.
As the New York Times put it, "Inserting digital images has become increasingly common in sports and entertainment programming -- usually to insert advertising and corporate logos and first-down markers in football -- but has generally been considered out of line on news shows, a type of programming in which the assumption of reality is considered sacrosanct and not informing viewers is considered a breach of journalistic guidelines."
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Copyright 2000 Diane Patterson
Send comments and questions to diane@spies.com