not to be confused with "froggy brain."
This is not a story, it's a collection of road-movie cliches.
I don't know what's happened. I can't believe 5 days have gone by since my last entry. I seem to be in a fog for most of the day, either wanting to sleep or giving in and sleeping. My mom asked me last night what I've been up to and I drew a blank. I know I've been doing something. I just can't remember what.
Partially this is because I get up three or more times a night to go to the bathroom. Yes, I know: "too much information, Diane." I assume this is my body's way of getting me ready to act like a jack-in-the-box when the baby arrives.
Even though I resemble nothing so much as a pile of clothes inconveniently dumped on the bed or the couch, Bug is in no way affected by my lethargy. In fact, I'm beginning to wonder if a baby can be too active in utero. When Darin puts his hand on my tummy, he cracks up because she moves so much. One of the things you're supposed to do late in pregnancy is chart how long it takes the baby to make 10 movements at her most active time of day. "About 5 minutes" is the average in this household.
Speaking of the baby, Darin and I had our first Prepared Childbirth class yesterday. It's a series put on by the hospital to get parents ready for having a baby: a few anatomy lessons (including a chart of the body that gave me a much better picture of why I have to go to the bathroom upwards of 20 times a day), the Lamaze method, a hospital tour, and several films of what's going to happen. I am steeling myself not to moan loudly Oh dear God no.... at sensitive points.
There are 10 couples in the class. For those of you who've seen my tummy recently and think I'm not showing very much, let me assure you that compared to at least 3 other women in this class, I am verily Jabba the Hut. (Welcome to LA, capital of body image maintenance.) There was one woman who I would swear was not even pregnant. There was one woman who's gained 45 pounds --she looks obviously pregnant, but not 45 pounds worth--who's hating being pregnant. There's the couple for whom this is a surprise baby after 13 years of marriage. (The husband did not sound happy that he missed the New Year's celebrations this year.)
One reason I spaced out this weekend was that Darin brought a harbinger of evil, entitled Heroes of Might and Magic III, into our house. I think I wasted a lot of time playing this game. But I honestly don't remember.
I know we went out to dinner with Al one night--I think that was Friday. I did some actual thinking about my screenplay (thinking without action is often enough these days to immediately put me to sleep, charmingly enough). We didn't leave the house at all on Saturday.
I'm clearly going to have to start marking on my calendar not only what I have to do but what I've done. This short-term and long-term memory loss is very disconcerting. Reportedly I will recover or even get smarter after having the baby. I assume this is because I will be comparing myself to the mental faculties of an infant.
Did anyone else, upon hearing the news, think that Time-Warner had bought AOL? It's rather disconcerting to think of Time-Warner as being this gigantic monolith...and then realize that AOL is bigger. Welcome to the Internet economy.
The answer to Wednesday's question: Elian Gonzalez is the little Cuban boy who made it to the US after her mother and stepfather drowned while fleeing Cuba. His father, in Cuba, wants him back; the boy's relatives in the US, the Cuban community in Florida, and not a few US politicians want the boy to stay here. One--was it Jesse Helms?--invoked the spectre of "Communist Cuba." (Imagine the exact same scenario being played out with a little boy from, say, Communist China. Do you imagine this sort of theater would be going on?)
The INS ruled that the boy should go back to Cuba, which has set off a storm of protest, with various parties filing injunctions in order to stop this from happening. I am wondering if a few zealots will not get it into their head to disappear the boy before the Friday deadline, or in some way attempt to stop the father--the boy's father, who by all accounts loves him very much and is the boy's closest relative, as opposed to these distant relatives in Florida who've never seen the boy before--from coming to get him on Friday. Well, maybe I'm just being a little overdramatic.
 |
 |
 |
 |
Copyright 2000 Diane Patterson
Send comments and questions to diane@spies.com