a peek inside any two minutes of diane's thoughts.
What's on NPR?
I haven't posted an nka in a while--has anyone noticed?
Am I a good writer?
Why am I listening to this station? Isn't there any good music on any more?
There's a party Friday night. I don't really want to go, but I said I would. I'll just stop by and say hi.
When is Mary going to get here?
I wonder if Darin thinks I'm pretty. I know he thinks I'm cute. At least, he says he does.
I have a lot of "shoulds" in my inner monologue.
Is this the stupidest idea for a screenplay anyone's ever had, or just in the finals?
I can't make heads or tails of this perl program Ceej gave me. Darin's working--I'll ask him later. Of course, I could take the time to figure it out myself.
Am I going to make it in Hollywood?
I need a new CD in the player.
Mary's going to ask about computers and printers. I'd better go look those up right now.
Does everyone else hear these voices, or am I going crazy?
I need something to eat. There's nothing in the house. Should I go shopping right now? Store's probably packed. I'll go later.
I'm annoyed by Jody's behavior. I have to deal with this.
Oops. Snipped off a little too much cuticle and now I'm bleeding. And the nail polish stings. Ouch.
Why do I keep reading these stupid gossip newsgroups? I don't care if Tom Cruise is really gay.
What's on TV right now?
Hey, it's not November--flip that calendar page over.
Can you really not use the Mac with all these cheap H-P printers? That doesn't seem right.
I wonder what's happened to David from the GSP. I should give him a call.
Which track was the CD on? Why don't I use the pause button instead of the stop button once in a while?
What movie should we see on Friday?
Oh God, Diane, just write something.
I wonder if there's any more frozen Mrs. Field's cookie dough in the freezer.
Tuesday
Mary the Disney Fellow called me and asked for help--since her move to her new house, her Mac was no longer talking to her laser printer, and it had been chattering away quite happily while she was in the hotel.
I went over to her house and proceeded to accomplish absolutely nothing. I called Brent, the Mac fixer, and he told me a few things to try. ("If I so much as look at it, it's going to be $175.") None of them worked. He suggested I try my Powerbook on their network. And he told me what the problem probably is--the network connector in the LaserWriter II is probably broken, and fixing would cost more than buying a new printer. So he suggested she get a new printer.
Mary also needs a new Mac. But she doesn't have the money. And there is a tiny Mary (or tiny Rod) on the way. So I'm trying to find a way she can get an affordable Powerbook--she's a portable fan too; Powerbook users, unite!--and a printer.
Her husband Rod made us lunch: salmon sandwiches and turkey soup. Mary and I talked about her experiences in the Disney Fellowship, which I find fascinating. The Mouse can be very heavy-handed--Disney is called by some who have worked for it "Mauschwitz"--but it does provide one of the best training experiences for new writers. And those writers are much in demand when the program's over, so Mary should be doing quite well next year at this time.
Mary should also be much in demand, because she loves pitching, the bete noire of the pro writer. Pitching is when you verbally sell an exec on your story--you tell the story, you set the scene, you make them want your script. Most people dread it. Mary loves it and it shows. I aspire to make pitching as fun for me as it is for her.
We made plans to get together Thursday--she could print her stuff out at my house, and then I would bring Nero over to her house to see if the communications problem with her printer were with her Powerbook, her network cable, or the printer.
Wednesday
The main plan for Wednesday was to meet with my writing group, so I wanted to get my simple outline for my next script done, so that we could discuss it. So I worked on that all morning and actually became quite pleased with it. I kept the story simple and straightforward. This happens, but then that happens. (I also had another simple rule, because this is psychological horror: whenever the protagonist experiences one kind of shock, another kind of occurrence always follows.)
Then I went to meeting, where we discussed the pages Aaron had sent us earlier in the week in some depth, and then discussed my outline. I got some really good feedback on what I was missing, how I could punch some other elements up, and how I needed to fix my ending, which satisfied absolutely no one present. I could go three ways with the ending: the absolutely wonderful, the complete despair, or the complete despair with the strange twist. I, of course, am going with Door Number Three; we'll see how that works out.
One of the problems, I found, was that Jody is very bossy. I like Jody's feedback--I think she's very good on some story issues. But...we all tend to get excited and overflowing with ideas and we tend to burble out with them. More than once she cut one of us with, "I'm not done speaking yet." She, of course, also cut into our statements more than a few times--I have to train myself to be more aware of when this is happening and push right back at her.
I'm also annoyed because in 3 sessions Jody hasn't brought anything in.
Workshops are about working everybody's stuff. Not just commenting on other people's and protecting yourself. Last meeting Jody told us an idea that had occurred to her while she was in the shower, and it was the cinematic equivalent of a shaggy-dog story: the entire point of doing the story was in the gimmicky ending. And I don't think she's going to work on it. Linda told me Jody did this in several previous meetings--she'd bring in a story idea, monopolize everyone's time, and then totally drop the idea and have a new one by the next week.
This will not stand. The workshop, for me, is about writing and getting feedback on that writing and really working it into shape as a product. Not for sitting around and bullshitting (not that I have any problem with that--it's just too easy to fall into that habit).
Today
Today I went to pick up Suspiria at the laser disc store. I had to put my name on a list for this movie, if you can believe it--every time I'd gone to the store looking for it, it was checked out. Who knew?
Mary came over to print out her treatment for the Disney program, and then we got lunch at Mel's. I talked so much I couldn't believe it. I was monopolizing the conversation. I interrupted myself and said, "Usually in any conversation, I'm the one who never talks, I'm always getting the other person to talk. This is so weird to be the one talking."
Mary said, "You came over to my house two days ago and I did all the talking then, so it's only fair."
We talked about writing--I told her a bit about my new one--and how we work in comparison to how other people work.
Then we went to her house. I took Nero out and connected it to her printer.
Nothing.
I had a new phonetalk connector, and I swapped it in for both ends of the network to the printer.
Nothing.
"It's your printer," I said.
This is very bad news. I am the bearer of bad news; I feel icky. Oh well.
We got off the topic of computers and talked about how wonderful it is to have husbands who support us (they appear to be a rare breed--women are expected to drop everything and follow their husbands around, but when men do it, it's something strange and wonderful).Then we talked about women changing their names and how it didn't occur to either of us because we already had identities as who we were. (Of course, that hasn't stopped a lot of women.)
I really like Mary. I need some girlfriends in this area. I've felt so alone for a while now.
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Copyright 1998 Diane Patterson
Send comments and questions to diane@spies.com