Here is everything I know on the subject of writing:
“Put black on white.”
— Guy de Maupassant.
Seriously. All of writing comes down to actually doing the writing. And doing it some more.
Oh, need more? Okay.
“The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shock-proof, shit detector. This is the writer’s radar and all great writers have had it.”
— Ernest Hemingway
Look at a professional’s story. Now look at yours. Now back to the professional’s. Do you know where you went wrong? Do you know why your stuff isn’t as good, as polished, as exciting, as whatever? Work on it. Just because you know the alphabet doesn’t mean you know jackshit about arranging it in the right order.
Sigh. Still not enough? Here goes.
- Nobody cares whether you write or not. Honestly. We get so many stories bombarding us each and every day (TV, movies, the Internet, blogs, Twitter, Facebook updates) no one’s going to notice whether or not you do yours. So if you want to be a writer for any other reason than you can’t imagine a better way of spending your time, just stop now. There are easier and more pleasurable ways to get money, sex, and fame than typing.
- Write everything. Fiction, plays, newspaper articles, diary entries, poetry, letters to the newspaper, fan fiction.
- Write what you know? Fuck that. Write what turns you on, write what excites you, write what you want to read. If you don’t want to sit down and write it, we don’t want to sit down and read it. What book do you want to go buy? Write it.
- Finish what you start. (This is my personal bête noire.) Everyone has fun with the initial burst of energy when you start a new project. Go through the long slog, because that’s when you really learn how to create.
- Your writing is never going to be good. Do it anyhow. Imperfect and real stuff >> perfect, nonexistent stuff. No reader in history has ever pointed to the brilliance of a book someone was going write “someday.”
- Stop waiting for someone to tell you your work is any good or you have promise or whatever. YOU have to know if you’re good. It’s really as simple as that.
- If no one goes out of their way to tell you you’re good, you’re only just kinda all right. “All right” is my gentle way of saying your work is mediocre. Try harder. Try bigger. Try bolder. Read your stuff with a critical eye — honestly, would you shell out hard-earned money for what you’ve written?
- When you get criticism, hear what they’re telling you, not what they saying. I’ll let you in a secret: When someone says there’s a problem with your work, they’re right. When they tell you what the problem is, they’re almost guaranteed to be wrong. Most writers wouldn’t know a story if it came up and bit them on the ankle, why on Earth would a non-writer know how to fix a story? Readers always know when something’s wrong though.
- Creativity is a muscle. You have to use it. You have to work it.
- I need a tenth thing? Stupid lists of ten.
And, oh yeah, the best writing advice (and possibly life advice) ever:
Nobody knows anything.
— William Goldman
Howard Fast always said, “Plumbers don’t get plumber’s block” and “A page a day is a book a year.” His cousin, my writing mentor Susan Shapiro, always says, “Write it first, then decide” (with regard to “I can’t write that, my family/employer/spouse would never forgive me” type worries).
While I always like the whole “plumber’s block” thing (writers just get so goddamn diva-y about stuff), writing IS different. Other creative professions do get block. Tell an actor stage fright doesn’t really exist and, well, just see what happens. That’s one reason you have to do the “write everything” part — you keep the muscles in shape to keep you going when you have no idea what you’re doing.
Also, I didn’t *really* believe in writer’s block until I read somewhere that Harlan Ellison had had it, and if there’s a writer who defines “write everything, anywhere, at any time” it would be Ellison.
I definitely agree with “write it, see what happens.” You can always delete it, you know? No one HAS to know.