Diane needs

I got tagged for the Google needs meme, and since I post so rarely, this will just have to do:

1) Diane needs a pigfoot and a bottle of beer, some reefer and some gin
(Well, isn’t THIS the truth.)

2) Diane needs to reconcile both sides of herself — to love herself

3) diane needs a fucking shower
(My God, this is like visiting a psychic)

4) Hmmm Diane needs a good affair.
(Okay, maybe not so much)

5) Diane needs our thoughts and prayers

6) Diane needs a ride for 1 to San Ramon
(I’m beginning to see story possibilities, linking all these sentences)

7) DIANE NEEDS TO STOP HUMPING ME!
(…)

8) Diane needs to get out of my boyfriend’s life
(I…I…there are no words.)

9) Diane needs each and everyone of you to take stock
(and see if you’re driving to San Ramon)

10) Diane Needs A Loan From Her Father

11) Diane needs to get some sleep or perhaps this is her glass ceiling
(from someone else’s “Diane needs” page, heh)

12) Diane Needs Financing

13) Diane needs a website made
(I have a couple, though they are in dire need of redesign/revamping)

14) Diane needs to be fair
(Hasn’t stopped me up until this point in my life)

15) Diane needs to be beatin with a rubber hose
(Um. No.)

16) Diane needs a new way to maximize the attention of her banking customers
(I’ve gotten some awesome ideas on how to do that in previous entries)

17) Diane needs ur phone #
(Esp. if she’s having an affair with you, going to San Ramon, or doing your banking)

18) Diane needs more $5 qualifying contributions

19) Diane needs your 7 year projections
(Who doesn’t, frankly?)

20) Diane needs only moist, well-drained, organic soil in sun or light shade
(And then she grows like a weed!)

21) Diane needs to stand and move around the room
(But then she’d get organic soil everywhere!)

22) Diane needs to be more sexy and more out there
(Trust me, she has that covered.)

23) Diane needs a cheeseburger
(Errr… no. Yuck.)

24) Diane needs to see these paintings
(Art!)

25) what Diane needs: a little discipline and a little training
(That will certainly come in handy in San Ramon!)

And…if you’ve bothered to read this far, consider yourself tagged! It’s actually hilarious, finding what comes up.