Like everyone else, I am waiting for tomorrow to be OVER already. All Presidential elections are horrible, each in its own unique way. This one has stretched the limits of human credulity with its uniqueness—if you can’t remember for yourself, an artist has summed it up for us.
We haven’t had much to talk about this election. Actually, despite thinking for years I’d have been a Republican if Republicans were still like Ike, I’ve never ever liked any of the Republicans running for office that I can remember. I’ve always thought the other guy should win. It was years before I put two and two together and said, “Hey, there’s a name for someone who always likes the other guy.” I remember in 1988 my college roommate trying to decide between Bush the Elder and Dukakis and I said, “Supreme Court,” and that summed it up for me. Seriously, there was a choice? Please.
There’s only been one conversation my friends and I have had about this election, and it’s always pretty much begun the same way:
Did you ever think…
There’s nothing else to be said. We know which way that conversation is going. We’re all in our 30s and 40s and we all shake our heads. “Nope, we didn’t ever think it could happen. Not in our lifetimes.”
I remember thinking this election was over months ago, because there was no damn way the US was going to vote for the black guy. I was amazed for weeks as Obama stayed ahead. And the gap started growing.
(I know there have been jokes about movie Presidents like Morgan Freeman or TV Presidents like Dennis Haysbert preparing us for this moment—possibly the only good thing 24 has ever given us—but I would like to remind everyone that SF Chronicle columnist Jon Carroll actually prepared us for this much earlier, in a column he did about a million years ago. He said that one of the problems we have in the US is that our Head of State and Head of Government are the same guy. Other places they split them into President and Prime Minister, Prime Minister and Queen, Governor of Texas and Lieutenant Governor of Texas… so Carroll proposed we have a President and a Captainkirk, someone steady to guide us during troubled times, and he nominated James Earl Jones as the first Captainkirk. This was a column from pre-Web days—yes, children, there was such a time—so I can’t find a link. But he said this, he did.)
I don’t think any of the Republicans could have pulled this one out. (“Imagine the heads exploding if it had come down to the black guy versus the Mormon.”) Maybe it’s just the economy. Maybe it’s just Republican fatigue. But I don’t think so. It really seems people have been responding to a message of, “We’re all in this together,” and not “Aiiieee! The other is coming! Everybody freak out now!” which has been the standard Republican mantra for years now.
I’m not a big fan of Obama—one word: FISA; another couple of words: no Bush prosecutions—but the perfect is the enemy of the good and it’s not, in fact, all about me. I have plenty of Obamaniac friends and their enthusiasm will have to do. I indicated my enthusiasm with political donations. We’re all going to be in Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride for the next couple of years, and in the words of the ancient Chinese urban legend, get ready for your heaping share of Danger + Opportunity galore.
Oh, and this tax plan Obama’s proposed? I plugged our family’s numbers into it, and we get a tax cut. Let me repeat that: WE get a tax cut. If we’re getting a tax cut, I don’t want to hear one goddamn whingeing word out of your mouth about fears of your taxes going up, okay? If your taxes are going up, trust me: you can afford it. So just shut the hell up, fasten your seatbelt, and thank your personal deity you have the money to be taxed.