Poolside at Club Swanky

I joined the Y four years ago. I needed a place to go during the day, the kids loved the kids’ area, and it had all the workout facilities I could ask for: cardio machines and free weights (and Nautilus, but I don’t use the machines). It didn’t have everything in the world, but it had everything I needed to make a decent workout, and the kids were happy, so I was happy. It was $50 a month, and the kids’ area was free. (Sadly, it no longer is. Now it’s $25. Per year.)

One thing the Y didn’t have was a kids’ pool. It does have a pool — a big ol’ indoor pool that’s great for laps, but not conducive to the kind of playing around kids like to do. That I liked to do, every summer, at Eisenhower Park. As I remember it, my mom dropped us off in the morning and then came to get us some time around 7 at night. I understand this may not be the way it was, but it sure feels like it. And Sophia, when she gets near water, cannot get enough. I’ve often joked that her goal in life is to become a mermaid. Whenever she has access to a pool, she gets in and then refuses to get out for love nor money nor blue lips. Simon likes the water a lot too, but he hasn’t had swimming lessons, so he’s much more fearful.

There are three deluxe clubs in our area. We went by one, the JCC, and really liked it — very fancy, very state of the art, and it has a kids’ pool and a regular pool. Except the one day we went there on a guest pass we were reprimanded because we weren’t in the water with our kids. Until the age of 8 (or older? I can’t remember) a parent must be in the water with the kid at all time.

Not. Happening. I will sit poolside for hours. I will dive in if the slightest thing is wrong. I will not stay in the water for untold hours.

So, we didn’t join the JCC. And last year Sophia complained about not being able to swim.

There’s another club, quite nice, in the area, and I took the kids there for the tour. The kids’ reactions to a place are very important: there is simply no percentage in it for me to force them to go to a place they don’t like. This second club had three pools, including one just for kids, but they didn’t like it. They kept asking to leave. They really didn’t like the kids’ area.

We didn’t join that club either.

Since summer is upon us again, I started thinking about pools again. The local high school has swimming lessons at its pool during the summer, so I signed the kids up for a session of those. And evidently the pool has some free time built into its schedule, but who wants to look at a schedule for a pool?

There was one last club in our area to look at, but I’d been fearful of even checking it out. I nicknamed it “Club Swanky.” For one thing, they don’t even post the rates on the website. Which says one thing to me: “If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.” I bit the bullet and went there one day with Simon. We got the full tour: the cardio area, the machines area, the free weights area. The women’s showers (with nice fluffy towels, and shampoo, and conditioner, and hair dryers, and a sauna, and…) The three pools: the adult pool, the “family” pool, and the “wading” pool. Swimming classes, tae kwan do classes, every aerobic class you can think of. The yoga studio, the spinning studio, the dance class taught by a guy who used to be on Broadway. The poolside cafe, which has wi-fi (one of my first questions).

Simon loved the place. He wanted to know if he could get into the pool right then.

The membership director laid the prices on me and I thought, Well, it is very nice. Nice amenities. It would not suck to work out in those workout rooms, each of which is about the size of the total Y workout facilities. She handed me the many, many forms to fill out (including the separate applications — and application fees — for husband and wife, not to mention proof of marriage or domestic partnership), and a whole bunch of money and signatures later, we were members.

You can’t invest that much money in something and not wonder, Was this a good idea? Is this going to be worth it?

We’ve been members here a week and I think we’ve come here five times. Every day Sophia says, “Can we go to the Club now?” She is a fixture in the pool. She wants to take tae kwan do. We keep running into people we know — this is clearly one of the top social spots of the area. (Yesterday I ran into a guy I last saw about, oh, 20 years ago.)

If only they had electric plugs near the chaises longues near the pool, my life would be perfect.

‘Cause I have the feeling I’m going to be spending a lot of time here at Club Swanky this summer.